Impasse

Tonight I can cry the saddest tears,
The kind of tears that would leave the hole in my heart emptier and wider.
The night is shattered and he is near me. And that is all.

And tonight I might have to cry the saddest tears,
For in his eyes I see, I see that love he had, or that love that he might still have.
To think that I have him, to know that I will lose him.

Tonight I can let these thoughts hover in the corners of my mind:
That tonight I love him, but he does not love me, not even for one time.

A song plays in the distance.

My soul is in anguish for he can never be mine,
My mind is spent with just the thought of fighting,
The sight of him illuminates the darkness

But then he is not mine. He won't accept me as his.
He is for another. Another's in one way or the other.

Tonight I can cry the saddest tears,
To know that I have him near me, but never with me,
To hear the coolness in his words
All loose, unfelt.

I cannot say I love him, that's certain,
But beyond words, I am wishing I could.
Love is too soon, perfection is even impossible.

What does it matter that my love cannot keep him,
He hasn't even been mine yet and I have already lost him.

Those eyes, those lips.

They can only be with me for so long.
Close enough to feel, but never to touch.
That somehow he has taken me into his arms to wonder
If it could ever be me and him.

The music trails off.

My soul is in anguish for he can never be mine
And although I have to cry the saddest tears
I cannot help but rejoice for that one moment,
For the nights, like this, that he'd kept my eyes dry.

-tSin

08 | 28 | 08

NOTE:
This was inspired by one of Pablo Neruda's Poem - Tonight I Can Write.