I Took Some Days Off To Drown Myself With Booze.

This won't hurt more than a pinch.
so just pour a drink.
lets talk it over.
i'm back after all these years.
don't be affraid my dear.
now i'm older.
~Cobra Starship, One Day, Robots Will Cry

11.30.09 | 07:15:23 | i don't write nights anymore

Too much of the good thing... they say that even the greatest things of all never last. Everything has an end. And that is true... but I think... only if you choose to. There will always be days you could use to relive the good times and some days you can spend for mourning.

As for now... it's a holiday here in the P.I. Not a very big holiday as the Thanksgiving but a holiday to commemorate the greatness of one of our heroes who helped fight to give us back our freedom - Andres Bonifacio. I wonder what everybody else is doing right now although I am pretty sure I am one with them in enjoying the perks of what our heroes fought for: FREEDOM AND NO CLASSES! Too bad I cannot say... "NO WORK!" cuz I will surely be at my desk again tonight giving free psychoanalysis to customers and making sure that their issues get resolved at the end of the day otherwise they'll be back on the phone the next day for another fifteen minutes to an hour - what a way to waste time! On the brighter side, I get some additional pay for working on a holiday. Another perk for having and working holidays. My deepest gratitude to our dear heroes! You've surely made this life of ours more fun and liberating!I love it!

For the past five days I lived like a normal student sans work cuz I took some days off [we were supposed to go to the mystic island of Siquijor, however plans changed and so we decided to stay here -- more of that in a while!] but plus late night outs and almost sleepless nights and then there's a small session with booze. Forgive me, but it has been a very looong time since I last had a date with it [booze]. And with friends by my side... who could resist? I sure will be sent home safely and soundly. During the days I am a regular student - waking up early and prepping up and getting to school just in time! I kinda forgot I was actually employed somewhere. *sighs*

Here are some photos: =)

~there's Teddy at the center and we're all laughing
cuz our legs hit the bars as we try to pedal. hahah!

~this is just sooo Christmassy! don't you love it? :)
i can definitely smell Christmas already!

~swing, swing, swing!
reminds me of the good old grade school days.

~and then we went Go-Carting =)
it was really fun! i wanna DRIVE!

~our tickets and my girlfriends =)
LOVE!

WE SURELY HAD FUN IN FUNLAND! :)

And I guess this should be it for now... I will have to enjoy the rest of my vacation until tonight!


tata,

-tSin

A Pleasant Ashley-Surprise!

Her voice was like angels singing from the heavens when I heard her call my name from across the street. And the moment I saw her gleefully waving with eyes sparkling and perfect whites beaming... I realized it's been AGES since the last time I ever saw her! I couldn't help giving her a very tight embrace the moment I laid my hands on her Hahah! I just miss this baby so much and couldn't stop myself from being gigil...

And look! She really hasn't forgotten her signature pose just yet! =)

This kid is definitely a cutee!

And I also took a picture of myself with her... Of course! I won't let this moment pass! No-no-nope! =)

She's really funny and smart and everything! I would adopt her if I could! She's really one of the persons in the world that can make my gloomy day bright!

love surprises,

-tSin

WOW! that worked! but it looks like the characters are limited like twitter. i think this won't work fairly for me. this should be good for the lazy ones! hahah! the characters are now a bright shade of red telling me to shut up but here i am still typing my heart out. ok... let's... PING IT! :D

this is just a sampler. i'm new at this i swear! so please bear with me! and let's see what happens... in a few seconds! hehe...

You're A Grown Addiction That I Can't Deny.

There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain
~Seal, Kiss From A Rose

11.23.09 | 19:41:54 | and tell me what's healthy baby

I will always remember that very first day I saw you. Who would've known we'd come this far? Nobody ever believed... it was all a joke they said. That you and me we could never be... I was out of your league and so were you out of mine. I will always remember how I've denied wanting you, liking you, and seeing this day with you and yet it has happened. You and me... here and now and forever. It's boy meets girl and all the other complicated things sandwiched in and we can bury them all, really. Forget the past and walk hand in hand with me to meet the future.


I love you. I love the way you hold my hand and the way you look at me. I love never letting go of thoughts of you. I love how much I've changed [for the better, of course] from the day I met you. I love the way you kiss my back with those soft lips of yours. I love the smell of your breath. I love waking up beside you everytime. I love how your fingers brush my hair and the way you tell me how good they smell! :) I love your hair, too. I love your way of making me laugh and annoying and appeasing me all at the same time. I love how you encourage me to be rational and logical in most situations. I love it when you make me wait and make the waiting worth it. I love your way of putting me to sleep - those prayers... your gratefulness for the gift of rest. I love the way you love me. And I swear, as I always tell you and I will never get tired of reminding you, that I really have never felt this way before. Please, my love, stay for as long as you can... and I will do the same. Muah!

Thank you soo much for coming into my life my love. I just realized... I couldn't live without you. What took you so long to find me? Doesn't matter... I am all yours now. :)

with all my love,

~noj2x

I WANT

THESE BABIES!!!

I LOVE TopShop! But I don't think it loves me much, too cuz as far as I know... I couldn't really afford them. Well except for the basic tees [which are really lovely, too!], but the dresses and jeans and bags! Gawd! They are TSIN MUST HAVES BUT COULDN'T REALLY BUY! Pathetic. Tsk. And I'm really head-over-heels gaga over those ULTIMATE SKINNY JEANS that they have! The price?! Php3,095. WOW! The Boyfriend offered to give me half of it so I can buy... I'm still thinking about it! *sighs* Can I win the lottery already?! PLEASE?!


nothing but dreaming,

-tSin

What I Did Last Weekend.

//

what I did? what I did was THIS. And I had a night full of disturbing dreams... nightmarish even. There were crying and heartbreaks [the usual heartbreaking dreams which I really, really HATE]. My theory is that whenever I watch anything at all that's silver screen based that's when I get those crazy dreams and to make things worst... most of the time I remember them. Ugh.

Anyway. I also watched Episode 9 of the Vampire Diaries on Saturday night and that's where I heard this really, really nice song from the indie band, Barcelona... The following are the lyrics of the song entitled Come Back When You Can =)

I've been led on
To think that we've been
Trying for too long.
Every time we drift
We're forcing what is wrong.
At last that voice is gone.

Please take your time
But you've got to know that I am taking sight.
Oh, you look good with your patient face and wandering eye
Don't hold this war inside.

Come back when you can.
Let go, you'll understand.
You've done nothing at all to make me love you less.
So come back when you can.

You left your home
You're so far from
Everything you know
Your big dream is
Crashing down and out your door.
Wake up and dream once more.

Come back when you can.
Let go, you'll understand.
You've done nothing at all to make me love you less.
So come back when you can.

Come back, I'll help you stand.
Let go and hold my hand.
If all you wanted was me, I'd give you nothing less.
So come back when you can

Ahhh... that song is definitely love! You should listen to it! I'm sure that you're gonna love it, too! Hmmm... well if you're like the mushy-mushy kind like me! Heheh... And btw, since my FB account is out as of the moment you can follow me @ Twitter =)

three more years,

-tSin

Manny Sunday

CONGRATULATIONS MANNY "PACMAN" PACQUIAO!!!
You just made all of the Filipinos' weekend!
WE ARE SOOO PROUD OF YOU!

Failure by Design.

This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
~Brand New, Failure by Design


11.15.09 | 08:30:18 | knock you down

I can never get enough of my life's drama. Everyday another story would sprout from somewhere I don't even want it to! Can I have some other genre? A thriller maybe? Or action? *rolls eyes* Sometimes I think that if only, like seriously, [and I think I might have already thought/written about this a gazillion times!] I can just walk away from everyone as in everyone - I would without thinking twice. I know that people can never live alone and that no man is an island and that we are definitely interdependent with each other... but I think that it's just much better for me to be away from everyone. Well, not away literally but to have distance from everyone as in to be detached from them. No friendship just plain being colleagues or acquaintances. That would be lonely huh? But at the back of my head that's what I want. Something must be really wrong with me to be thinking this way, maybe I'm not human after all. Maybe I'm something else... whatever I am I don't even know. All I know is that I am tired of dealing with people who can't even deal with me. People who run away from me when I need them. People who can say nothing right and who thinks that I can never do anything right and who thinks that I am just a dumbass like that. People who don't trust me, I don't trust you either just so you know. People who pretend they are my friends and that they care about me... I'd rather be alone really than be with you. People who pretend they love me when all they really want is something else. People I can never talk to. People who thinks they are some powerful whatever in the society. People who acts as though they are invincible, as though they will never rot in their earthly graves one day. I just want to be in business with people nothing else. I want to have no emotions at all. I want to be insensitive. I don't want to be human anymore because it is a royal pain in the ass to be one! I want to live my life! I want to! I hate having to say anything that could hurt anyone. I hate the tightness on my chest. I don't want to be afraid of anything or anyone...

I just want to live. Please let me be.

Our lives aren't measured by how many social networking sites we have, by the number of status updates, or by the awesomeness of the photos you upload each day. Life is not a competition but most people think it is... well be it. I'm not joining.


coming back when I can,

-tSin

Inverted.

Hello is our word of the day because [at work] the phone lines are defunct we end up either being hung up or calling back the caller just so we can help them out. Talk about going some extra miles to please somebody and I hope they are truly pleased!

I can't do much Facebooking or Twittering anymore cuz they've got the NICE system up which is not very nice cuz it's definitely taking away part of my happiness. I'm not really very bitter about it since I still can do such things at home it's just that when work becomes inevitably B.O.R.I.N.G and I can't think of anything sensible to blog about... I am left with nothing to do but doze off which is definitely a No-No, I KNOW! Plus one of the HR people is sitting just right in front of us here and she always, always, as in never fail to walk by every working night! I am aware of that and it is embarrassing to be caught sleeping at my desk but sometimes I just couldn't help it especially after a very busy day at school. And speaking of school I am just glad that school is not yet killing me! Except for some minor homework no quizzes have been announced to be given yet! Whoopee! I have been losing some sleep lately... but I'm not minding it because I know that one day all of my sacrifices will pay off. I just have to be really, really patient! I'm crossing my fingers on that and my toes, too! Hahah!

This entry won't be very long. Before I hand you over to mouth-watering photos let me tell you the highlight of my week first. Heheh... And it's... *drum roll please*

I AM BROKE AND POOR - ALL AT ONCE!
[at least this week]

And that's because they gave our pay some 4 days earlier than the usual :( and I've got soooo many stuff to pay and I still have sooo many things to pay and buy and not to mention... Christmas is coming! Yes, I can feel the pressure now. Sometimes situations like this make me think: WHAT THE HECK HAVE I DONE WITH MY LIFE? I've got not even a centavo in my savings account no make that... I don't even have a savings account! I am planning to straighten this part of my life by the start of next year. Seriously. I have to save and get my act together and stop splurging and quit the impulsive buying. Because if I don't... I think it'll definitely drive me crazier and make me lose more sleep! I hate it... how money can make the world go round when in fact it doesn't even make us any happier at all. :( I really think that it's [money] just a source of evil and temptation and more evil -- I think so because I don't have money! Hahahah!

Moving on... [I still wish though that I will win the lottery one of these days! Hahahah!] Here are some very beautiful and brilliant photos by Elena Kalis. I really adore underwater photographs! They are just A. Amazing, B. Brilliant, and C. Charming. :p

ALICE in WATERLAND

~after all, knowledge is a virtue.

Elena Kalis is a master in this field! Two thumbs up for her genius works! :) Thanks to Anna for sharing this wonderful discovery! I took the photos from her site as well since I can't "right-click-and-copy-paste" the photos from Elena's site [or I just really don't know how! Sheesh!].

And I've got to retire for the moment. Until then!


make no promises,

-tSin

And Here is Where You Will Find Me When I'm No Longer There.

"I will hold on until there is no more reason to.

And in the end, I will break the stars and resurrect the sun."

~I Wrote This For You

Whenever I run out of words to say... you help me out. Seems like you always have the right words to say at the right time. Keep on keeping on @Pleasefindthis =) You are truly inspiring a lot just so you know ;)


i'm now one of your biggest fans,

-tSin

My New Love: HOLLYWOODCRUSH.MTV.COM

despite the fact that my head is throbbing like mad because of lack of sleep and the seemingly never-ending calls coming... I can't help feeling SMITTEN. You would probably think I'm crazy for feeling such cuz the reason for my being SMITTEN is this:

During a trip to Thailand, Penn took cooking classes and learned how to whip up some sexy and exotic Thai dishes, saying they’re “spicy and quick and easy to make—and a rare thing to cook for a woman.”

“I think pineapple is very sexy,” Penn explained, “It reminds me of bikinis and the beach.” (Penn on his favorite recipe: Yellow Curry with Pineapple)

read more.

Awww... my heart just melt I swear! I feel soooo SMITTEN to the highest level! Haha! As if! Well, I can dream of Penn Badgley as much as I want to after all it's only in dreams that I could ever have him and dreaming is just definitely for free. So please let me keep my fantasies of Penn. :p But of course, I won't exchange The Boyfriend ever. Yes, not even... Penn.

Penn = Fantasy. The Boyfriend = Reality. HAPPINESS!

Don't I sound like a kid there? Yes, a kid going gaga over Johnny Bravo. Eek!

I haven't watched Episode 9, They Shoot Humphrey's, Don't They, of GGX yet and I really couldn't wait at all cuz there's just a lot, as in a LOOOTTT, to look forward to! For one, there will be an episode with Lady Gaga, The Last Days of Disco Stick. And then there's the intriguing "THREESOME" episode, I'm not sure if that's part of episode 10... but I'm pretty sure it's something really worth waiting for! We'll see who will be despised this time and who will be part of the threesome!

MORE READS ON MY EX-LOVER, PENN BADGLEY, HERE!!! =)

That should be it for now. I just needed some breather and good I had it. Thanksss hollywoodcrush.mtv.com! You just made my day today!

back to business,

-tSin

Then Won't You Tell Me.

Choirs will be singing Silent Night

Those Christmas carols by candlelight
~Jon Bon Jovi, Please Come Home for Christmas

11.10.09 | 02:00:08 | the things that make us cry

Are usually the same things that make us happy.

Oh well! It is official! I am back to school for good and working at the same time. Whew! And for the past days I've done nothing but ask God to give me strength so I can conquer this battle unscathed or prolly a little scratch won't hurt... some lessons that would be enough to teach me something I can live with for forever and teach to my grand grand grand kids when the time comes! *sigh* It feels good to be back to school and fidgeting over school works and professors although I haven't really met all of them yet. Boy! am I excited?! Not really. I am very happy though because I've got one subject under my favoritest teacher of all, Miss D. =) I'm just sooo happy to have seen her again I didn't mind to have waited for an hour at all! She's just really the best Psychology teacher in our school - EVER! So... I guess that gives me enough reason to be motivated and driven to go to school even though I only get to meet her every Saturday, hehe.

In case you didn't notice, I've put up a Christmas countdown clock on my site (right there on the side =)). The time of giving is really on its way now and I just couldn't help feeling giddy about it! It's finally going to be Christmas time and I don't care if I'm gonna be broke... I'm already broke anyway! Hahah! What's more is that people have started putting up the Christmas decors and the lights! Ahhh! They're amazing! Sometimes I can even smell Christmas and I love it! That Snow Man (from photo above!) is hanging on a post just right in front of me with snowflakes hovering over it. It's just sooo Christmassy! I feel like a child seeing the decorations and all. It lifts out my stressfulness.

And then Starbucks Christmas flavors are also back! I'm not really sure if that's how Starbs call it but I wanna call it that, hehe. My fave in particular is the Toffee Nut frap, giving emphasis on the word cuz I really am not a drinker of the hot ones especially hot coffee. Here's a photo of my cup from last Sunday's... and yes, that's a latte cup. My mistake. Well... I guess I was too groggy to have argued with the barista that I had to let it go. Good thing though that I didn't go for a grande otherwise I might have choked myself from palpitating! I know it is ironic how I can love Starbs sooo much but not really coffee. Well... even though Starbs is mostly about coffee their pastries are also very good and so are their other beverages =)


Yet again, they've misspelled my name! Ugh! And they have never ever spelled that right. Hmpft. By the way, the new Starbs Planner for 2010 is already up for grabs! I've already got the sticker stuff although I only got one sticker as of date. Sheesh. I hope I can get one this time! Cuz last year they said the planner was really bad I was discouraged to collect the stickers. The planner for next year doesn't look really really good as in super duper beautifully sophisticated or whatever, but it's cute. Haha! So we'll see if I'll be getting one! =)

happy,

-tSin

Are You Drugs?

Lights, camera,
TRANSACTION!
~Incubus, Talk Shows On Mute

11.05.09 | 05:24:44 | welcome to the new de ja vu

Last Sunday, I started to write something like this...

Today is All Saints day. Everyone else is busy and probably on their way to the cemetery to visit their loved ones who have gone ahead.

Today is my ex-boyfriend's birthday. Penn Badgley happy birthday! I love you!

...but then dearest Firefox died on me or not really died but well it was acting up pretty crazily and with the amount of patience that I have I decided I should just blog some other time. I was also vehemently sick at the time with runny nose and... enough said. So here I am trying to make up to you guys once again for the lost times. Ugh. How many times do I have to apologize for my laziness huh? I don't have reasons... just excuses, it's pathetic. Although I did manage to rant a little yesterday or a couple of days ago or I'm not really sure. Haha! And if you want to know what I whined about... you can read it HERE. Don't blame me if you read it... I know! It's sooo drama-ish. Yes, you can puke. I wouldn't mind.

So... as you may have already noticed most of my previous blogs were just really quick updates and I didn't realize it much as now, but I'm thankful to whoever invented Twitter. With Twitter no idea is ever lost as long as I've got it up and running... it's really wonderful to just be blabbering about anything and not caring much who reads it or not. I don't even get much RTs or replies, but I really don't mind at all cuz I just want to tweet. It's an amazing mind and heart detoxifier. Today I am officially in love with Twitter... it has become part of my happiness. So screw to those people who tries to take my happiness away. :( Why would they want to do that? That's sooooo cruel, isn't it? Going back... I'm sorry I'm losing track... Well, yeah, it's been a really busy couple of weeks. Work stuff. And then there's school (gawd! I can't believe I'm back to school!). Although school isn't really going to start prolly until next week, as of date they're still wasting our time making us go to school with nothing to do, as in NOTHING. I've also had some issues I needed to deal with and I've been sick during the weekend (as I've already mentioned ;)). *sighs* I'm still on the path of recovery now - not totally healed just yet. Every now and then I get really dizzy and the world seems to turn and I remain on the ground... isn't that weird?

Ho-hum. Sometimes, I feel like I'm Kristin Cavallari from that MTV series Laguna Bay Beach. It's like everywhere I go follows drama. Yes, I'd like to puke please. Well, it's like I never get well from being sick. Ok. I get better for a week and then after a couple of days I'm sick with something else again. Then my faulty-wired brain races and races and races... I get lost and then found. It's an endless vicious cycle. =( I wonder when that will ever stop huh? Or will that ever stop? Who knows? Sometimes, I feel like I hold back too much inside... anger (mostly), love, my ability to do something extraordinarily (cuz f*ck I must admit I can get too lazy sometimes!) and there are words which I could never bring myself to verbalize. I say that I have moved on from past experiences worth forgetting, but I often find myself digging into them and making them part of the present when I'm not supposed to anymore. Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm someone else and that I am somewhere else in another time. It's just easier that way. Right? But then yes... I've got a reality and a present, a now to face. I wish I am braver. *sighs*

You're probably bored already with all of my blabber of gobbledygook-iness. Sorry. A little distraction might help... pictures anyone? Yes? Ok. These are quite past-tense already, but I wouldn't mind sharing. Here are some photos from our team outing a couple of weekends ago at the southern tip of the province, Boljo-on.

~the group picture, inevitable.
one just can't leave an outing without this! =)

~our very cute guest, Juno's daughter Xierra
well, looking at the photos it seemed like it was Xierra's day-out
and we were merely chaperon

~our first time guest Michelle (left)
she looks really pretty here, doesn't she?

~another first time guests, Jacel and Mike

~and of course William (a.k.a TLJ or True Love ni Julie hihi)

And here are my favorite shots:


~this can surely pass for an advertisement photo! =)

~spells F.U.N :D

~a captured smile

~spooky house I must say.
in coordination with the spooky place. brh!
i like how it looks surreal.

~and yes, my favorite picture of myself. ;p

Well, that made me forget a bit. ;) Ahhh... thanks for the happy times worth reminiscing. And I guess I've got to bid goodbye for now. I'm really not feeling any better in all honesty. Plus my nose is currently suffering the aftermath of tortured runny nose... it's so gross. Hmpft. Ok. Enough. I could go on and on with the complaining.


still and transfixed,

-tSin