Failure by Design.

This is a lesson in procrastination.
I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.
Every single second that I put it off
Means another lonely night I got to race the clock.
~Brand New, Failure by Design


11.15.09 | 08:30:18 | knock you down

I can never get enough of my life's drama. Everyday another story would sprout from somewhere I don't even want it to! Can I have some other genre? A thriller maybe? Or action? *rolls eyes* Sometimes I think that if only, like seriously, [and I think I might have already thought/written about this a gazillion times!] I can just walk away from everyone as in everyone - I would without thinking twice. I know that people can never live alone and that no man is an island and that we are definitely interdependent with each other... but I think that it's just much better for me to be away from everyone. Well, not away literally but to have distance from everyone as in to be detached from them. No friendship just plain being colleagues or acquaintances. That would be lonely huh? But at the back of my head that's what I want. Something must be really wrong with me to be thinking this way, maybe I'm not human after all. Maybe I'm something else... whatever I am I don't even know. All I know is that I am tired of dealing with people who can't even deal with me. People who run away from me when I need them. People who can say nothing right and who thinks that I can never do anything right and who thinks that I am just a dumbass like that. People who don't trust me, I don't trust you either just so you know. People who pretend they are my friends and that they care about me... I'd rather be alone really than be with you. People who pretend they love me when all they really want is something else. People I can never talk to. People who thinks they are some powerful whatever in the society. People who acts as though they are invincible, as though they will never rot in their earthly graves one day. I just want to be in business with people nothing else. I want to have no emotions at all. I want to be insensitive. I don't want to be human anymore because it is a royal pain in the ass to be one! I want to live my life! I want to! I hate having to say anything that could hurt anyone. I hate the tightness on my chest. I don't want to be afraid of anything or anyone...

I just want to live. Please let me be.

Our lives aren't measured by how many social networking sites we have, by the number of status updates, or by the awesomeness of the photos you upload each day. Life is not a competition but most people think it is... well be it. I'm not joining.


coming back when I can,

-tSin