What I Hate.

My number 1 pet peeve:

People who eavesdrop and read (WITHOUT PERMISSION) whatever it is that I am reading on MY computer, cellphone, notebook (that I'm writing on). They just totally irk me beyond belief! I wonder why such people exist. They're soooo intruding privacy and that  I just couldn't tolerate :s But I'm also too chicken to tell them to get off my back. 

I wish they could just wait until they are asked for their opinion. I wish.

What would be the best way to tell them off?

right words are not always the best ones,

~tSin

P.S.

Have you seen the new P20 bill? Here...
One of the first ones out! Thanks to my friend, Teenee for this gift!

FRONT. Manuel Quezon looks 10 years younger in the new bill.

BACK: promoting tourist spots :)

P.P.S.

I never thought I'd like the look of it in person.
Yahoo! photos surely did not give it any justice!
It looks super duper adorable :)

Later...

I've bailed out on the other and starting out anew :) Find out what in a while! Busy, busy!

x♥XO,

~tSin

No One Sleeps While I'm Awake!

~Ryan and Tinay

~Ejang and me

No fear at all to wear these head-dresses and hats all around the city because fact of the matter is... everyone's wearing one, too! Taking the opportunity to roam around shamelessly with these! :D

Naghasik ng lagim, that is :)

And yes, welcome to the world... Mayeehhnn! :)

~left to right: Ejang, Mayen, Sani, Myna, Tinay, and Ryan :)

~A mini reunion with Mayen and her tita Myna :)

It was very fun spending the whole Saturday afternoon with these wonderful girls from my short-lived years in undergraduate Psychology! I don't usually get to spend time with these girls, but every time spent with them is really fun and de-stressing! Never mind the fact that my whole legs get sore from all the walking! It was all worth it!

We also tried that virtual roller coaster ride which absolutely took our breath away! I forgot the name but it is located on the 4th floor of SM City Cebu adjacent to Toy Kingdom. Price is @ 120/person/ride which lasts for about 5minutes! But believe me, it's really, really fun! It's amazing how people's minds work! You could think for a while that you're in a real roller coaster ride! Hahaha!

Anyhoo... Moving on to something Christmassy...

Here is my number one wishlist for this Christmas is this:

I am in size S or M :) You can visit Soak here. They've got all the lovely swimwears in the whole world! The best of its kind yet in Philippine swimwear revolution! I really, really love it like super! So please do care to get me one for Christmas! Hahaha! I'm hoarding for the summer! ;)

my head is garbled,

~tSin

So please do accept my garbled writing. It's hallow's eve and I'm either... excited or afraid! Idk, really.

I'm just starting to get dizzy, too!

When The Boyfriend is Asleep

at their place...

The Girlfriend will take pictures of herself :p

This is why I couldn't sleep at all when I am home alone. I am too vain to postpone pictorials of myself! Tsktsk.

Boyfriend: (checking on me via SMS) What are you doing?

Me: Closing my eyes and counting the holes on the ceiling. Trying to get some sleep!

Oh liar! When in fact, I am all too giddy to send my reply so I could... take pictures of myself again! Hahah! Crazy!

And I was actually reorganizing my closet (thus the picture up, up, up above :D) in between striking poses for an invisible audience. Here is the result:

The top 3 colors in my closet?

3. Black
2. Pink
1. Blue

I was really surprised, too! I thought I've had too many blacks I could ban myself from buying another black dress yet again but... I really don't have enough black at all. I might be filling in the closet with some more flowery prints and the basics: nude, white, and cream? I've got to work on the shoes, too! I am terrible when it comes to such feet comforts! :o

It's Thursday finally! I am sooo looking forward to the weekend because I will be meeting with three of my most gorgeous college girlfriends on Saturday! I am definitely excited! ♥ It sure is going to be a mini reunion!

centralized,

~tSin

P.S.

I didn't have the guts to take a picture of my before-the-reorganizing-look closet because... it's way too crowded and messy! I can't bare it to all of you. Heheh...

P.S.S.

Totally sad about Indonesia :( Please, let's spend a minute to pray for them.
They had earthquake, then tsunami, and finally a volcanic eruption all in 24 hours!
Super sad!

Wanting

I want to be that kind who will never ever...

GIVE UP.

Who will stand up after being thrown face-down to the ground.
Who will clean up her knees from the grass-stain acquired through falling.
Who will let out tears and then continue on with life -- head held high.
Who will get angry at the world for a minute but still love it for eternity.
Who will learn her lessons and accept her mistakes and use these to her advantage in the future.
Who will conquer the world and make it a place worth living in.

I wanna move people,

-tSin

I Took Some Days Off To Drown Myself With Booze.

This won't hurt more than a pinch.
so just pour a drink.
lets talk it over.
i'm back after all these years.
don't be affraid my dear.
now i'm older.
~Cobra Starship, One Day, Robots Will Cry

11.30.09 | 07:15:23 | i don't write nights anymore

Too much of the good thing... they say that even the greatest things of all never last. Everything has an end. And that is true... but I think... only if you choose to. There will always be days you could use to relive the good times and some days you can spend for mourning.

As for now... it's a holiday here in the P.I. Not a very big holiday as the Thanksgiving but a holiday to commemorate the greatness of one of our heroes who helped fight to give us back our freedom - Andres Bonifacio. I wonder what everybody else is doing right now although I am pretty sure I am one with them in enjoying the perks of what our heroes fought for: FREEDOM AND NO CLASSES! Too bad I cannot say... "NO WORK!" cuz I will surely be at my desk again tonight giving free psychoanalysis to customers and making sure that their issues get resolved at the end of the day otherwise they'll be back on the phone the next day for another fifteen minutes to an hour - what a way to waste time! On the brighter side, I get some additional pay for working on a holiday. Another perk for having and working holidays. My deepest gratitude to our dear heroes! You've surely made this life of ours more fun and liberating!I love it!

For the past five days I lived like a normal student sans work cuz I took some days off [we were supposed to go to the mystic island of Siquijor, however plans changed and so we decided to stay here -- more of that in a while!] but plus late night outs and almost sleepless nights and then there's a small session with booze. Forgive me, but it has been a very looong time since I last had a date with it [booze]. And with friends by my side... who could resist? I sure will be sent home safely and soundly. During the days I am a regular student - waking up early and prepping up and getting to school just in time! I kinda forgot I was actually employed somewhere. *sighs*

Here are some photos: =)

~there's Teddy at the center and we're all laughing
cuz our legs hit the bars as we try to pedal. hahah!

~this is just sooo Christmassy! don't you love it? :)
i can definitely smell Christmas already!

~swing, swing, swing!
reminds me of the good old grade school days.

~and then we went Go-Carting =)
it was really fun! i wanna DRIVE!

~our tickets and my girlfriends =)
LOVE!

WE SURELY HAD FUN IN FUNLAND! :)

And I guess this should be it for now... I will have to enjoy the rest of my vacation until tonight!


tata,

-tSin

A Pleasant Ashley-Surprise!

Her voice was like angels singing from the heavens when I heard her call my name from across the street. And the moment I saw her gleefully waving with eyes sparkling and perfect whites beaming... I realized it's been AGES since the last time I ever saw her! I couldn't help giving her a very tight embrace the moment I laid my hands on her Hahah! I just miss this baby so much and couldn't stop myself from being gigil...

And look! She really hasn't forgotten her signature pose just yet! =)

This kid is definitely a cutee!

And I also took a picture of myself with her... Of course! I won't let this moment pass! No-no-nope! =)

She's really funny and smart and everything! I would adopt her if I could! She's really one of the persons in the world that can make my gloomy day bright!

love surprises,

-tSin

You're A Grown Addiction That I Can't Deny.

There is so much a man can tell you
So much he can say
You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain
~Seal, Kiss From A Rose

11.23.09 | 19:41:54 | and tell me what's healthy baby

I will always remember that very first day I saw you. Who would've known we'd come this far? Nobody ever believed... it was all a joke they said. That you and me we could never be... I was out of your league and so were you out of mine. I will always remember how I've denied wanting you, liking you, and seeing this day with you and yet it has happened. You and me... here and now and forever. It's boy meets girl and all the other complicated things sandwiched in and we can bury them all, really. Forget the past and walk hand in hand with me to meet the future.


I love you. I love the way you hold my hand and the way you look at me. I love never letting go of thoughts of you. I love how much I've changed [for the better, of course] from the day I met you. I love the way you kiss my back with those soft lips of yours. I love the smell of your breath. I love waking up beside you everytime. I love how your fingers brush my hair and the way you tell me how good they smell! :) I love your hair, too. I love your way of making me laugh and annoying and appeasing me all at the same time. I love how you encourage me to be rational and logical in most situations. I love it when you make me wait and make the waiting worth it. I love your way of putting me to sleep - those prayers... your gratefulness for the gift of rest. I love the way you love me. And I swear, as I always tell you and I will never get tired of reminding you, that I really have never felt this way before. Please, my love, stay for as long as you can... and I will do the same. Muah!

Thank you soo much for coming into my life my love. I just realized... I couldn't live without you. What took you so long to find me? Doesn't matter... I am all yours now. :)

with all my love,

~noj2x

Are You Drugs?

Lights, camera,
TRANSACTION!
~Incubus, Talk Shows On Mute

11.05.09 | 05:24:44 | welcome to the new de ja vu

Last Sunday, I started to write something like this...

Today is All Saints day. Everyone else is busy and probably on their way to the cemetery to visit their loved ones who have gone ahead.

Today is my ex-boyfriend's birthday. Penn Badgley happy birthday! I love you!

...but then dearest Firefox died on me or not really died but well it was acting up pretty crazily and with the amount of patience that I have I decided I should just blog some other time. I was also vehemently sick at the time with runny nose and... enough said. So here I am trying to make up to you guys once again for the lost times. Ugh. How many times do I have to apologize for my laziness huh? I don't have reasons... just excuses, it's pathetic. Although I did manage to rant a little yesterday or a couple of days ago or I'm not really sure. Haha! And if you want to know what I whined about... you can read it HERE. Don't blame me if you read it... I know! It's sooo drama-ish. Yes, you can puke. I wouldn't mind.

So... as you may have already noticed most of my previous blogs were just really quick updates and I didn't realize it much as now, but I'm thankful to whoever invented Twitter. With Twitter no idea is ever lost as long as I've got it up and running... it's really wonderful to just be blabbering about anything and not caring much who reads it or not. I don't even get much RTs or replies, but I really don't mind at all cuz I just want to tweet. It's an amazing mind and heart detoxifier. Today I am officially in love with Twitter... it has become part of my happiness. So screw to those people who tries to take my happiness away. :( Why would they want to do that? That's sooooo cruel, isn't it? Going back... I'm sorry I'm losing track... Well, yeah, it's been a really busy couple of weeks. Work stuff. And then there's school (gawd! I can't believe I'm back to school!). Although school isn't really going to start prolly until next week, as of date they're still wasting our time making us go to school with nothing to do, as in NOTHING. I've also had some issues I needed to deal with and I've been sick during the weekend (as I've already mentioned ;)). *sighs* I'm still on the path of recovery now - not totally healed just yet. Every now and then I get really dizzy and the world seems to turn and I remain on the ground... isn't that weird?

Ho-hum. Sometimes, I feel like I'm Kristin Cavallari from that MTV series Laguna Bay Beach. It's like everywhere I go follows drama. Yes, I'd like to puke please. Well, it's like I never get well from being sick. Ok. I get better for a week and then after a couple of days I'm sick with something else again. Then my faulty-wired brain races and races and races... I get lost and then found. It's an endless vicious cycle. =( I wonder when that will ever stop huh? Or will that ever stop? Who knows? Sometimes, I feel like I hold back too much inside... anger (mostly), love, my ability to do something extraordinarily (cuz f*ck I must admit I can get too lazy sometimes!) and there are words which I could never bring myself to verbalize. I say that I have moved on from past experiences worth forgetting, but I often find myself digging into them and making them part of the present when I'm not supposed to anymore. Sometimes, I like to pretend I'm someone else and that I am somewhere else in another time. It's just easier that way. Right? But then yes... I've got a reality and a present, a now to face. I wish I am braver. *sighs*

You're probably bored already with all of my blabber of gobbledygook-iness. Sorry. A little distraction might help... pictures anyone? Yes? Ok. These are quite past-tense already, but I wouldn't mind sharing. Here are some photos from our team outing a couple of weekends ago at the southern tip of the province, Boljo-on.

~the group picture, inevitable.
one just can't leave an outing without this! =)

~our very cute guest, Juno's daughter Xierra
well, looking at the photos it seemed like it was Xierra's day-out
and we were merely chaperon

~our first time guest Michelle (left)
she looks really pretty here, doesn't she?

~another first time guests, Jacel and Mike

~and of course William (a.k.a TLJ or True Love ni Julie hihi)

And here are my favorite shots:


~this can surely pass for an advertisement photo! =)

~spells F.U.N :D

~a captured smile

~spooky house I must say.
in coordination with the spooky place. brh!
i like how it looks surreal.

~and yes, my favorite picture of myself. ;p

Well, that made me forget a bit. ;) Ahhh... thanks for the happy times worth reminiscing. And I guess I've got to bid goodbye for now. I'm really not feeling any better in all honesty. Plus my nose is currently suffering the aftermath of tortured runny nose... it's so gross. Hmpft. Ok. Enough. I could go on and on with the complaining.


still and transfixed,

-tSin

Vote for Me! =)

for the LUDIC FUR CONTEST!!! =)

It's like a spur-of-the-moment-me-deciding-that-I-should-join-this-contest. For short: NOTHING REALLY SERIOUS =) This is a contest that one of my current addictions is holding and I was actually influenced by my friend Teenee to join and make my own entry. So here I am and here's my entry:

this model is just so so so lovely! i ♥ her! :)

isn't that fur stuff cool? :D

and the boots are especially BEE-YOO-TIII-FUUULLL!

i love the pink tights, too!

Please vote for me! All you need to do is go to this site and view my entry and just click on the ♥ icon to like my entry. And voila! You're on your way to helping me in winning the ludic fur =) The entry which has the most number of likes wins the prize. You can vote for an entry for only once a day and I'm still four days before the final verdict... We still have time! We can do this! Thanksss so much in advance to everyone who's gonna vote for me! Muah!

i am, i am too fabulous,

-tSin

Come save me from walking off a windowsill or I'll sleep in the rain.

He took the days for pageant
Became as mad as rabbits
With bushels of bad habits
~Panic! At the Disco, Mad As Rabbits

09.26.09 | 05:48:12 | weathering the storm

It's been raining endless (scratching that cuz I might have been exaggerating) for days and there's a storm coming... so, hello STORMY weekend.

I am such a loser... I haven't posted anything at all for the past days. I'm sorry. But I swear I'm gonna fill you up today with news about yours truly.

I guess the main reason why I wasn't able to write or blog is that I got too busy doing OTs (working mostly from 9pm to 9am) and I swear I've been having headaches cuz we've got very high call volume during the past couple or three weeks. I must admit... it was all too exhausting, I almost got sick! But good news dearies, my tummy is now working at its best! Thanks to the very efficient Doctor who prescribed me those very helpful medicines... now I'm stomach-ache free! Yay! I should celebrate, I should. =) And of course, I should remind myself now and then to give the snobs to sodas and coffee (although I seldom, seldom, seldom drink coffee!) and anything else that is acidic so that my stomach could fully recover from its almost dead state. I sure do feel lots better than before I started taking those meds. Gosh! I cant' believe how I've become such a drug addict in a short period of time. Hahaha! Of course I am kidding on being a drug addict! I swear I'm not!

Ok. Enough about that and let's move on. So... while I was away... I spent most of my limited free time on:

-catching up with sleep (sleeping at night is still the best remedy and the best way to detoxify!);

-reading this and this book =);

-watching some movies with The Boyfriend (we've finally finished watching the Terminator Salvation! Christian Bale was sooo hot in that movie!);

-I found a link for that movie 500 Days of Summer (I definitely love their OSTs! And I swear Zooey Deschannel does look like a lot like Katy Perry!!!) so I started to watch it but I got too lazy and impatient waiting for the stream to load I had to stop watching it after 45 minutes;

-a bit of shopping! I finally got myself these:

actually, The Boyfriend gave me that =) Included in the shopping were two new pair of jeans and a couple of dresses which I really, really LOVE (I don't have a picture of it yet though, but I'll update you as soon as I have!) I'm still looking forward to buying a few more dresses.

-celebrating our 14 months together over a sumptuous breakfast of pancakes and ground pork and corned beef and a heart-warming mushroom soup!

-convincing The Boyfriend to go to the beach on a rainy day. I sooo wanted to go because I had a new bikini to flaunt! Haha! But of course I didn't tell The Boyfriend that and it also wasn't the primary reason why I wanted to go anyway - I just wanted to get away from the city for a while and be with him and only him on our special day really :)

so to the beach we went :)
if you wanna see my skimpiness, you can click HERE
but don't blame me if you wouldn't like what you see! haha!

what else kept me busy... *thinking tight*

OH OF COURSE!

-watching The Vampire Diaries series. Elena is really pretty!

-watching the whole new season of GGX (as in Gossip Girl. I just wanna call it GGX!).

I guess... I was just living life the way God wanted me to live it... I am enjoying every moment of it! No matter how tiresome some days got and no matter how I wanted to give up already! Be proud of me cuz I'm still standing strong and HAPPY. =)

And oh! Yesterday, I had my fill of all of my cravings! Well, except for one: POPCORN! But Julie brought some Mojos from Shakey's and I was überly delighted! And then mum brought home some pomelo, lanzones, and sweet corn! I was very, very full - I definitely felt so bloated afterwards! I guess I will never be able to tell my success story on losing a good number of weight without dieting. Ugh! Eating is just too heavenly good to be said no to, right? Who can say NO to FOOD?! Nobody. Unless you're really crazy about your weight or something like it's already psychotic.

Ho-hum... I am just glad -super glad- that it is the weekend already! I could sleep the whole day and then prolly, if it doesnt' rain, go out with Lois and Juno later tonight at The Outpost to catch some good music (I've read from the B.I.T.E Mag that the place is going to play some Ska tonight. We'll see.) and then just enjoy the rest of my days off relaxing or sleeping, per se.

By the way, I just found a new craze (aside from my regular music-hunting)! Let me call it Tsin's Looklet Craze. =) I just love it and it's definitely soooo addictive! Haha! Here are my masterpieces (some beginner's stuff, really. nothing major!):

~they're pretty safe designs and mix-matches.
I always want to stay with comfort and elegance and a bit
(just a tiny bit) of craziness ;)

And right now, I am most looking forward to watching the Inglourious Basterds -- like supermassively! I've been waiting for sooo long so please let me watch already! Then there's the whole new season of Dexter by Monday! I couldn't wait as well!

Alright, time to wrap up now. I've got to go. Let me leave you with this picture of mine -- me wearing the neon pink sunglasses and crazy polka dress! I feel like a kid! Haha!

Is it me? Or is it really? Whenever those weather forecasters tell us there's going to be a storm the sun shines brightly outside... Hmmm... But yeah, I am aware that in another part of the world some are struggling to survive the very strong winds and the chilling rain and of course, praying that their homes won't get lost in the storm. I'll be praying for them, too.

i don't wannna wait,

-tSin

Oh You're Supposed to Care But I Think You're Really Mean.

Then i remember all the nice things
that you've ever said to me,
maybe i'm just over reacting
maybe you're the one for me.
~Lily Allen, Not Fair

09.16.09 | 06:07:32 | stinking

A day like this reminds me of a friend who has got this weird belief that whenever you're having a happy hour there will always be a sappy hour after that. I didn't vocally agree with her back then but at the back of my head I really do agree with her... with all my heart because I have experienced the same thing it's just that I didn't want to convince myself completely that it's really like that. That things just get f*cked up in a blink of an eye. So we go out with this friend and spend the whole day in laughter only to find her really quiet at the end of the day, sulking at one end of the jeepney on our ride home... lost in her own thoughts. And whenever we'd find the courage to ask her what's keeping her so still and quiet she would just shake her head and her forehead would then crease into a frown. Later on we found out about her little theory. I realized I wasn't very alone with that belief. Even Charlie in the book The Perks of Being a Wallflower (which I have proudly finished reading already by the end of last week! hahah!) wrote a thing about that as well. I'll try to put that part here once I find it... as of the moment I'm still browsing through the e-book, trying hard to look for it. :S EDIT: Guess what? You can actually find it here - I made a polaroid postcard of it ;)

Why the drama, you're wondering? I don't know. I've been feeling unwell the past days because of my friggin' stomach. It makes me feel so ill, I wanna stay home and not work at all! Ugh. And just last night... I felt a bit better, prolly cuz I asked for the right medicine from the clinic and it worked! Plus, I didn't feel sleepy at all the whole of my shift! I was thinking that since Julie gave me her very lovely headband... that could've been the reason for my happy state today.

~now look at that? isn't that a beauty?

~a beauty indeed! thanks Julie! :)

Or maybe, I'm just too excited to see the doctor later on although I am also afraid to undergo endoscopy! But I don't think I would mind much because right now I'm just as desperate to know if my stomach will not really be the death of me (cuz with all the pain that it has been giving me these days, it really makes me think that it would be!). I want to be free of this stomach ache forever!

Ok. It's crazy how my mood swings can really swing from center to either hard left or right most of the time. Some minutes ago I was so happy and feeling infinite (or almost) and the next minute I just didn't feel like talking or doing anything at all. *sighs* I hate it whenever my mind runs fast and functions double time... it drives me nuts!

I am also somewhat upset because... remember the Katy Perry concert that I was sooo excited about? I won't be able to go (and that's final) and as though that isn't worst enough... The Boyfriend seems to be very happy about the fact that I won't be able to afford to buy myself a flight ticket and the concert ticket itself. I understand how he cares about my finances but I really wanted to go at least he'd been a bit, even just an inch, supportive. But he wasn't at all. I guess he tried to... I wasn't convinced. Well... looking at the brighter side... at least I will be able to save enough money for my school come back this coming November and money to pay to Chiclois, since I will be buying her phone (a really cool one, I should say!) and not going to the concert means more money to spend on dresses :)

I am particularly eyeing these (for parties and night outs, right?):

check it out here :)

hi reina,
-tSin

It's Way Past Time and I Still Can't Sleep.

There was a commotion in the room. Noise and hisses - I opened my eyes, everything was black... or gray. I wasn't sure. I moved my fingers, they were numb and I felt like I was tightly tied to whatever it was I was lying down on.

"What happened?" came a familiar voice of a man.

"I don't know, kuya," was the reply of another voice that I have known all of my life. "She was having a hard time sleeping and she asked me to get a glass of water..." the voice trailed off.

"And?" probed the first voice.

"She drank this tiny medicine."

"Medicine? What medicine?" the first voice asked, panic could be recognized in his voice.

What is going on? I wanted to ask, but I still couldn't move at all.

"I don't know. I-I didn't ask. But she kept it right -"

There was a sound of some things being lifted, no, thrown away hurriedly... not even allowing the second voice to finish his sentence. And then some plastic.

"How many did she take? Did you see?" asked the first voice gasping for breath.

"I didn't. Maybe one or two. I'm not sure, kuya," the second voice, which I finally recognized was my brother's, replied with a quiver of worry.

I then realized they were talking about me. I wasn't bounded then, the room wasn't dark... I might be... No. I couldn't even say or think of the word. No way. Not now. I've got to get back.

Everything that happened that day flashed back. The stressful day and my mind couldn't stop thinking and analyzing and re-analyzing things. The sight of that helpful (or maybe not at all) medicine. The medicine that would probably lull me to sleep forever now.

"Anna? Anna?" the first voice, my boyfriend's, shouted.

He might have shook me awake, but I couldn't move. My mouth couldn't even utter a single word and my eyes won't open still. I felt cold, really cold like I was locked up in a freezer or an ice truck. I couldn't see anything, but I could hear everything: the howling wind, the swaying trees, the breathlessness of the men in the room, the electricity running through the wires, the sound of children running and laughing outside the house, the goats munching on their lunch of grass - all of which sounded so clear to me.

I am drifting away... farther now.

I want to go back.

"Anna?"

I didn't recognize anymore who called my name last. I was lost.


singing myself a lullaby,

-tSin

Tomorrow It May Change.

Give me a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe its not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today
~Avril Lavigne, Tomorrow

12:20:49 | 09.03.09 | happy birthday unx

Please accept my apologies for the gobbledygook. My anger is always short-lived, believe me. I never get angry in more than 24 hours... I am just never that kind of person. Before I almost lost my temper some hours ago, I was actually composing this blog but of course I had to stop. I got really irritated with the phone ringing and my head was thudding kind of fast I wanted to go home that instant... I even wanted to quit right there and then just because I felt so awful and tired. :( But now I feel much a bit better and in a little while I'd be off to bed for full recovery and I'm hoping and praying (so much) that we won't be getting too many calls tonight! Please! Umpf. Why the heck am I talking about my work here? Ok. Ok... moving on.

Yesterday, I got a very wonderful message from GOD through this wonderful application in FB and yes I really would want to share this here to remind me that no matter how my brain has been wired faultily... I was still made in God's own image and I could be as perfect as He is if I would choose to. Did that make sense? Anyway, here is God's message to me:

Tsin got a message that on this day, God wants you to know...

... that you are perfect as you are.
God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you.

So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

Of course God never creates a faulty life and as in never. It's just that people, like me, choose to have a faulty one. I have realized a long time ago that whatever happens to my life I will it to happen because I really believe that everything has already been laid out already, has been planned, has been written - maktub as Coelho would put it. That's why most of the time I just let everything fall into place because in the past I was that kind who always wanted to have everything figured out - even those parts that aren't worth figuring out. I was always afraid and uncertain about the future and more often than not, I was insecure of myself that is why I make sure that I always make plans and stick to them... otherwise I would be upset. But then I over-organized (I made that one up so don't bother looking that up in the dictionary. heheh...) myself. I missed out on a lot of things and have even detached myself from the people I cared most for a while. I was really too hard on myself back then and even now sometimes I still drive myself mad with endless ways to improve. I still make plans inside my head but then get really too lazy to realize them. I think I have finally learned to accept the glory of my being as I am. I'm also very sure that God has a beautiful plan for me... I'll be holding on to that fact. Yes. I'm gonna quit trying hard too much cuz as I've noticed the harder I try the farther I drift away from reality and it's crazy. (And weird I know.)

So I guess it's time I hit the sheets of my pink bed now. I've got to sleep I need some energy to not lose my temper very fast again tonight.

help me be good, my Lord,

-tSin

P.S.

HERE'S the other thing that I've written today. :)