Tomorrow It May Change.

Give me a little time
Leave me alone a little while
Maybe its not too late
Not today, today, today, today, today
~Avril Lavigne, Tomorrow

12:20:49 | 09.03.09 | happy birthday unx

Please accept my apologies for the gobbledygook. My anger is always short-lived, believe me. I never get angry in more than 24 hours... I am just never that kind of person. Before I almost lost my temper some hours ago, I was actually composing this blog but of course I had to stop. I got really irritated with the phone ringing and my head was thudding kind of fast I wanted to go home that instant... I even wanted to quit right there and then just because I felt so awful and tired. :( But now I feel much a bit better and in a little while I'd be off to bed for full recovery and I'm hoping and praying (so much) that we won't be getting too many calls tonight! Please! Umpf. Why the heck am I talking about my work here? Ok. Ok... moving on.

Yesterday, I got a very wonderful message from GOD through this wonderful application in FB and yes I really would want to share this here to remind me that no matter how my brain has been wired faultily... I was still made in God's own image and I could be as perfect as He is if I would choose to. Did that make sense? Anyway, here is God's message to me:

Tsin got a message that on this day, God wants you to know...

... that you are perfect as you are.
God doesn't create faulty life. No. Everything created by God is perfect, and so are you.

So stop driving yourself mad with endless ways to improve, and just accept the glory of your being as is.

Of course God never creates a faulty life and as in never. It's just that people, like me, choose to have a faulty one. I have realized a long time ago that whatever happens to my life I will it to happen because I really believe that everything has already been laid out already, has been planned, has been written - maktub as Coelho would put it. That's why most of the time I just let everything fall into place because in the past I was that kind who always wanted to have everything figured out - even those parts that aren't worth figuring out. I was always afraid and uncertain about the future and more often than not, I was insecure of myself that is why I make sure that I always make plans and stick to them... otherwise I would be upset. But then I over-organized (I made that one up so don't bother looking that up in the dictionary. heheh...) myself. I missed out on a lot of things and have even detached myself from the people I cared most for a while. I was really too hard on myself back then and even now sometimes I still drive myself mad with endless ways to improve. I still make plans inside my head but then get really too lazy to realize them. I think I have finally learned to accept the glory of my being as I am. I'm also very sure that God has a beautiful plan for me... I'll be holding on to that fact. Yes. I'm gonna quit trying hard too much cuz as I've noticed the harder I try the farther I drift away from reality and it's crazy. (And weird I know.)

So I guess it's time I hit the sheets of my pink bed now. I've got to sleep I need some energy to not lose my temper very fast again tonight.

help me be good, my Lord,

-tSin

P.S.

HERE'S the other thing that I've written today. :)