Someone, anyone, get me new shoes!

Painful dream to lose my sleep in,
And I wonder where safety is.
Taken by Cars, Colourway

06.26.09 | 04:32:00 | no out there

Nothing much to say today except that I find that stiletto up there really adorable! I'm sooo digging shoes like that these days and I don't know why. Although every time I get the chance to go to the mall or something I always unconsciously find myself looking at the flat step-ins or peep-a-toes! Duh. And actually, ending up buying nothing at all or probably ending up buying some dresses or new tops! CRAAZZY! As usual. But honestly, it's been a month now since I've bought anything at all! Shoot the time for recovery, including the recovery for my expenses! :((

Anyhooser, we -RV, Yo, Tim, and Me- watched the second installation of Transformers, Transformers: The Revenge of the Fallen today! It was good, but I gave it an overall rating of eight (8). Probably cuz it's not as good as the first one or because I was expecting too much - cuz most people are saying that it was really SUPER NICE. Not very nor super. Although I should say the movie is really funny, what more with the nuisanic presence of Leo Spitz (Ramon Rodriguez) and the jestering powers of Agent Simmons (John Turturro) - I just couldn't stop laughing when he finally joined in the scene! And I couldn't help swooning over Major Lennox (Josh Duhamel) never mind Shia, every girl is already swooning over him!

So now the photos (all courtesy of the All Movie Photo site!):

of course, first up! Major Lennox!
zin't he adorable?
*drool*
awww..

BUMBLEBEE!

2 photos of my favoritest character
ooh... if only I have wheels this hot
and a guardian all in one packaging!



the Autobots convoy
one word: BEAUTIFUL BEASTS!

the funny Agent Simms and Sam
figuring out where the ancient Transformer is.


the great old Jetfire! the wisdom of an ancient genius!


Ironhide:
can we take this minute to a
ppreciate his coolness? alright. thanks! :D


second to Bumblebee,
I am also a big fan of Optimus Prime
~the father of all Primes!


now tell me this isn't hot!
INTERSEX?
it's for you not to believe!

How cool could it be if the Autobots do exist and work hand in hand with our soldiers in keeping the world safe?! Way above the cool-meter, right? Most especially, if the Decepticons choose to stay in Cybertron! :D

Whew! It does still feel like I am still in the midst of these transforming beasts and beauties and not planning to get the hang of it just yet. *wink*

Before I leave the cyberworld and drift off to sleep let me give you some dose of LML today. I personally found this very funny and as most of the posts in the LML site this one's from an anonymous contributor. You can go ahead and ROFL!

"Today I told the police that somebody might be stalking me.
They asked if I was famous.
I said no but I plan to be, I'm just letting you know in advance."

And by the way, news just came out that Michael Jackson just died today at the age of 50! Poor guy. How are all those sold out tickets in London gonna go? Tsktsk.

come dance with me, ballet shoes,

-tSin

By the way here's a trailer of the movie for those
who haven't watched it yet. ;)

I Ain't Doing The Caffeine Dance.

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
Know that maybe I will be ok
~Ingrid Michaelson, Be Ok

06.25.09 | 01:37:06 | break free

my very own cup of coffee:
1 tsp of coffee, 3 tsps of cream 4 tsps of sugar
my own dose of what they often call the "sugar-rush"
whenever they get those chocolates melting in their tongues.
wake up then pick up.

Disappointing *sigh* because sometimes I could blabber nonsense, could type words that are not thought of well enough and eventually, I end up hurting or upsetting people who are really close to me. Sad. Sometimes I would rather want to leave and fly somewhere else... Not that I would want to be away from the people I care about and really love, too... It's just that I feel that they'd be better off without me and that I'd be better off becoming a nomad and not be attached to anything or anyone. Sheesh. If my doctor gets the chance to read this he'd probably strangle me! What's the use of his mood stabilizers if I'm all the same? Talking about walking out and leaving... more like dying worse, suicide as he would interpret. I could just imagine the look of disbelief on his face! Disbelief because basically, he knows that there are some things that I'm not ready (or never ever will) to tell him just yet. And he'd be like, I knew it. Right. He'd be too late or not. Whatever. Although I'm really thankful for my doctor for being as patient as he could be with me. Well with a job like his he would really need a hundred percent of that virtue to deal with all of his patients and more than that to deal with me. Pathetic? Yeah, I am. Pooh!

Yes, sometimes, it seems like between the fight and flight response: flight is more of a better option. Although on one side of the coin it might look selfish, but I would beg to disagree. As I've already said I'd rather my friends and family be off without me than I continue being with them and just ruin their lives in the long run. :( I mean I'm ok with people pestering me. I'm ok if they choose not to be friends with me anymore. I'm ok if some people wouldn't like me, that would be their choice and I'm not the type to coerce people into swooning on me! What I couldn't bear though is knowing that I have angered my friends and lose them. I couldn't bear seeing my siblings being upset with me just because I don't have enough funds to help them with school. I couldn't bear staying with colleagues who are disappointed with how I perform at work (cuz I could really look like someone who is all play and no work - I'm not. I swear!). I couldn't bear seeing my parents' pain because I've failed to take them out of our unluckiness (what word!). So I would rather pack my bags and leave and work somewhere else than do more damage.

Should I? Nope. That wouldn't be too practical... From where I am today, right now, like this moment, it would be best I just ignore the negativities of this world and go on with life like nothing happened. Live it as though I've never been through pain and almost crossing the delicate and thin line of sanity and insanity. Yeah, I should go right ahead and do that and cut the long talk. HUSH! What are plans? It's time for the fallback. I have dreams. I have a future. Let the critics be happy with what they're doing. Let the liars forever be the liars. Let me live my life as I want it. Let me.

I'm so sorry for the whining, this must be because of me drinking coffee when I'm not supposed to. Grh. Droop the night away, shall we?

~BACKTRACK~

the balloon with the stars! amazing!
this was my "welcome back!" balloon - that
time I finally told myself I had to go back.
amazing cuz of the stars! i just love it!
thanks to my dearest friends from Dispatch!

AND MORE STARS!!!
(from Tim's niece's crib -- such a beauty!)

here is Tim's niece, LJ.
4 more days and she'll be 11 months!
funny and adorable and smart kid!
i just love her! ♥

I painted my nails candy-like over the weekend.
too bad I ran out of that neon pink nail polish! :(
i had to color the lot of them with shades of purple and pink!


♥
11th on the 23rd! hoorah!

Other stuffs that I'm up to right now:


Listening to Taking Back Sunday (will never have enough of them!)

Reading Steve Berry's The Amber Room and Haruki Murakami's After Dark.

And I will be watching the movie Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen later today with Tim and RV! Yay!


-tSin

It's The Edge

So now you knoooooooooow
Don’t hang up the phooooooooone
I wish I was at hooooooooome
I know it's way too late,
But Happy Birthday!
-The Click Five, Happy Birthday

06.16.09 | 23:42:04 | time doesn't fly

June 10th as suggested, I went on leave to celebrate my boyfriend's 23rd birthday. I know this entry is kind of late for the occasion, but I'm also quite frustrated with our server in the office cuz it won't allow me to upload photos to my Facebook account. So here I am blogging myself away and definitely happy that they've unblocked Blogspot! Whoopee!

Anywayz, the celebration wasn't actually at all that grand, but the fun that we had is more than what you can define as grand! We celebrated it with his bff and his bff's girlfriend... Looked like a double date. :) Uh-huh! It was definitely fun! And I am just very happy as well that Tim was convinced to celebrate his birthday just as most people would! The day before his birthday he was really sure that he would stay at home and watch TV on his birthday - just that. I know he's got his reasons but I insisted that we be merry on that day! Haha! The little brat in me just wouldn't be let down! I'm also glad that RV helped in convincing him to do the Edge Coaster! When Tim texted me about it (plus! "don't retract the leave!") I was like... GGRRREEAAATTT!

Here are some photos from the ride (got to post em! it was a good Php550 to get the pics - just 15 of them, imagine!- transferred to a disc! sheesh! goes to show our "hulagways" are as expensive! haha!):

me and Tim and a little view of the city lights.
(he couldn't keep screaming as I tilt the coaster just a little bit more *winks*)

RV chilling and enjoying the view & Yo screaming on RV's ears! hahah!
(now that's a real 55 degrees tilt or almost?)

we conquered the Edge Coaster ride! Yay!
cw: RV, Yo, Tsin, Tim

I should say I did enjoy controlling the "tilt"! It was crazy as it was amazing! And I must admit... my knees did shake a bit on the initial tilt at 50 degrees! But generally, it wasn't at all scary! *wide grin* I certainly would do it again! Although if I will be doing it again with the same people, RV said we should ride the coaster together and Tim and Yo on another. Heheh! Yo was like, "I didn't expect we'd go for that ride tonight!" We welcomed Tim's 23rd birthday with dinner (RV, Tim, and me. Yo had to run, she was on night shift at the Marriott) at Mooon's in I.T Park, with RV and me doing a mini countdown and Tim almost apple red with embarassment. Seems like we were more excited for his birthday than he is! And too bad the restaurant didn't have complimentary birthday greetings or however they might call it. Well anyways, too much about the whining and before I could whine some more, I was actually digging for food and as my curiosity rose... I ordered the Suncooler alcoholic version for our drinks and that new sizzling chicken meal they offered. Imagine drinking juice with vodka plus a whole dinner meal! It was really, really, dizzy-ing, never mind the yummy-ness of the sizzling chicken! @__@ Weird and not refreshing at all! I wanted to exchange the drink to the regular Suncooler juice as soon as I had my second glass. I did have my fill and I'm not sure if I could drink that alcoholic version with dinner ever again. It just wasn't right. Nope, not at all! Plus, I had to fight a very painful headache the next day! :( Moving on... The night was amazingly fun and... FUN!

And as for the pictures - they're quite limited cuz I forgot to remind Tim to bring his camera and RV's cam's memory card got kaput and Yo wasn't as prepared. We do have pictures in RV's cam! Thing is, he couldn't transfer it to his pc since, as I've already mentioned and would be mentioning back: the memory card is kaput :( Sad? Not really. Most of the best times are hardly ever captured (oh an excuse for the guilt! heheh...)

To our birthday boy... you're now... 21!
Dream on 30-year-older! Kidding! Muah!

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR CONQUERING YOUR FEAR OF HEIGHTS
AND MOST ESPECIALLY CONQUERING IT
THE NIGHT BEFORE YOUR BIRTHDAY!
^.^

-tSin


P.S.
our internet connection is still not back. sheeeessshh! i need that back right now! phew.

P.S.2.
i also need to get that camera back. i've missed too many things already. :(

Saturday the 13th

Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday, Wednesday break my heart
Oh, Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love
-The Cure, Friday I'm In Love

06.13.09 | 06:45:22 | and why not?


Blue skies. Feathery clouds. The sound of cars beeping and humming slowly as they pass by the building. Laughters from across the room. It's Saturday! I'm still at the office, not stuck and not complaining but exploiting the company's resources. Sheesh. What guilt! But I can't help it! The act of internet browsing whether networking, checking out on friends through Facebook, gossiping (oops!) or just plainly browsing is a perfect stress reliever!

So it's Saturday and what am I up to? Guess what? It's not very boring... thanks to my ignorance! Haha! Oh well, I finally got my Twitter account. And I'm now practicing on that like almost seriously! Following for now only three people cuz I'm still not so sure as how that stuff really works. Aside from the Twittering I'm also checking on some news - the same old ones they can't even pass up as "news" anymore. They can also get painfully boring they lead me to snooping on some Hollywood star's ass instead. Not really my kind of thing, but sometimes I've just got to do something different. Doing the same thing all over again could kill somebody in the head so to say. The highlight of my weekend would probably be my going back to hanging out and chilling. It's going to be a busy Saturday for me today. I'm gonna meet up with friends (whoopee!) and I couldn't wait to catch up!

This should be this for now. I'm sorry for the gobbledygook. My mind's just not working clearly right now. I've got to get that internet connection back - ASAP!


-tSin

The Neurotic Need for Affection & Approval

Take a bow
Pack on powder
Wash 'em out with buzzing lights
Pay an audience to care
'Impress me' personality
-Incubus, Talk Shows On Mute


--we can't always please everyone--

I should be sleeping. I should be in dreamland. I shut my eyes, but then seconds later I decided I should write. I wrote something beautiful 3 days ago... when I checked it last Sunday it was gone. My heart broke. It isn't everyday that I can write something that will ever make sense and it frustrates me -- knowing that I've found something good only to have lost it. It wasn't time then. Possible. So what now? SOON cannot be NOW? When then? I can't waste any time because I only have enough.

It is crazy how people can become so evil, how someone you thought you can trust can betray you with just words that would so ruin your being, how some people can never seem to appreciate somebody's sacrifice, how some of us could easily wish we are somebody else, how some people can love too much as though they own that person, how some couldn't care more, how some would think that we live in a perfect world without the slightest flaws, how someone could give so much attention for just one person and neglect the rest of the world. The world is in a fiasco and nobody even cares. Everyone is just too caught up with themselves. I wish I can save the world. That's funny. I can't even save myself.

Or perhaps it would be better to say, I can't save myself because I don't even know who I am. They say that the only time we can accept ourselves is when we finally know who we really are (maybe, what we are truly made of?) -- I guess that would be a long run for me. Ever notice? It's much easier for us to help others than to help ourselves. We neglect our very own needs, desires, emotions because we are afraid to admit that they exist in us. And that if we ever acknowledge it people might reject us. We all want to please everyone so we forget ourselves. In forgetting ourselves we expose ourselves to a more grave threat of rejection. People are just people. We can like somebody so much right this very minute and abhor them the next just because of one mistake -- and sometimes we don't even allow them to explain. So there. End of story. You try to move on. And then the cycle just goes on.

On the contrary, people can also become very selfish. We want the world to know we are important. So some would go for fame, influence, diamond escapes, power, immortality, and all the stupidity that can make man feel like He is more than God. This scares me a bit. I hope one day people will realize that the sun doesn't only rise and set for one, but for 68,248,436,892 (and counting) others.

Life is a gamble. You can win. You can lose. You just have to play hard. You have to put in mind that all of us are obligately interdependent with each other. We can never live alone. So stop living like you are in Jupiter because even Jupiter has its own set of creatures.

-tSin

TRUTH ORDER: Mars is for MEN. Venus is for WOMEN.

TRUTH OR... DARE? (hahah!)

Guys would say that women are the most unpredictable creatures that the world has ever housed. Girls would say the world could've been a lot better if men ceased throwing the innuendos. Oh blah! Defend yourself if you must, this is an eternal philosophical battle... or I think it is.



1. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about. (aie noh?)

A. Girls are too busy thinking about the guy they truly care about they can hardly find time to flirt with other guys.

2. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. (kani kabantay ko ani... i think this must be one of the reasons why a lot of guys are going gaga over Locsin [or me! hahah!])

B. Girls go crazy over a guy's wit and charm.

3. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him. (daie? baskin mo tumbling?)

C. Girls will do anything just to see the guy she really likes.

4. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex-love interest. (aie. ka gilok. aw.)

D. Girls hate it when guys compare them with their "EXES".

5. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved. (reassureon bitaw mo, di pod mo cui oa rah. patarong oiii!)

E. Girlfriends need to be told that they are loved every chance you get otherwise they will feel that you really don't love them or worst that your feelings are merely superficial.

6. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend. (bitaw? no joke?)

F. NEVER talk about how pretty or hot or nice your girl friend or best friend is to your GIRLFRIEND.

7. Guys get jealous easily. (nya? sure oiii! dleh daw mo seloso. hahah!)

G. Girls will say they are not jealous even though their teeth are already shaking from anger because of jealousy.

8. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think. (i agree.)

H. Girls were born whining and sensitive so you really have to be careful with your words.

9. GIVING A GUY A HANGING MESSAGE LIKE: "YOU KNOW WHAT?! UH... Never Mind..." WOULD MAKE HIM JUMP TO A CONCLUSION THAT IS FAR FROM WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. AND HE'LL ASSUME HE DID SOMETHING WRONG AND HE'LL BE OBSESSED ABOUT TRYING TO FIGURE IT OUT. (naka feel na ko na laki jugh diay ko. heheh)

I. Giving a girl a hanging message like: "You know what?! Uh, never mind." Would make her want to squeeze you just to tell them what you really wanted to say when you said "YOU KNOW WHAT?!" GIRLS LIKE BOYS CAN'T READ MINDS!

10. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like. (so meaning...?)

J. Girls when flattered just want to hear more flowery words and they really get hurt when they find out you don't mean it. So don't say she looks good in that Little Black dress when she really looks like a duck.

11. A USUAL ACT THAT PROVES THE GUY LIKES YOU IS WHEN HE TEASES YOU. (the infamous altruistic surrender... faet.)

K. A girl likes you if she gets upset when you start to tease her and push her to some other guy.

12. GUYS LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU LOVE THEM IF THEY ARE SERIOUS IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS. (please elaborate further. how will we know you are SERIOUS enough?!)

L. Girls couldn't get less serious-er when it comes to relationships. They almost always give their all, but some guys just can't appreciate that.

13. Guys think way too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she can't notice it can make the guy think about it for HOURS, trying to figure out what it meant. (shet. wa nah. laki na jugh kau ko ani. grh.)

M. Girls can be very tactless sometimes and sometimes they just say things that are completely meaningless.

14. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused. (kami pod btaw. mas nahan me og opinion sa mga guys for the same reason. naa kay point. apiirrr!)

N. A good guy friend's advice is always helpful. It makes girls see things in a different light, in a man's point of view although not totally.

15. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me." (murag i don't agree. i think they really need some alone time when they say this. who knows?!)

O. When a girl asks you to leave her alone, SHE REALLY WANTS YOU TO STAY!

16. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up. (yeah, like something REALLY serious?!)

P. If a girl starts to talk seriously, she's really, really, super serious. Don't fool around. She might leave you in the scene.

17. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you. (di ko ka relate. faet. but you just gave me an idea.)

Q. It is never easy for a girl to see her best friend with another girl, but eventually, she'll get the hang of it.

18. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them. (hmmm... i think the reason why a guy would stop calling a girl beautiful when she says she's really not is that it makes him think this girl is not really confident with how she looks. well guys, we can't help it!"

R. Girls just want to feel the most beautiful & gorgeous of all... So stop telling her she's beautiful, instead just don't look at other girls when you're with your girlfriend. It makes her feel she's not good enough.

19. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking of something. (yeah? something like... "HEY, WE SHOULD BREAK UP." ouchy!)

S. When a girl stares at you she's simply thinking of you and her and the rest of your lives... TOGETHER.

20. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do. (hahah! maka insecure noh?)

T. Girls don't like guys who wouldn't know how to defend themselves. They also don't like guys who get unreasonably aggressive.

21. A GUY HAS MORE PROBLEMS THAN YOU SEE WITH YOUR NAKED EYES. (that's why most guys resort to suicide.)

U. Girls would love it when guys tell them "I NEED YOU TO LISTEN TO ME". It makes her feel that she's really part of your life.

22. Don't be a snob. Guys an be intimidated and give up easily. (unsa? ingon palang easy girl. aw.)

V. Don't be too aggressive. Girls will think of you as someone who has potentials to become a STALKER and they simply do not want that (although it can be a little flattering SOMETIMES, but it's just FREAKIER than flattering most of the time.)

23. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys. (right. like about that hot new girl in the office.)

W. Girls will talk about you shamelessly to their FAMILIES, RELATIVES, and FRIENDS.

24. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more. (who loves rejection?)

X. Girls hate being rejected and being made to believe that you like them when you really don't.

25. If you are going to reject a guy, JUST DO IT. Don't say they are like a brother or just good friends, it hurts even more. Tell them that you aren't interested in a relationship and they will respect you. (yeah. baby don't you break my heart slow ang drama.)

Y. If you don't like a girl, if you like her friend, if you see her just as a friend, don't be too sweet or too nice to her... because she might take that as some sign of you really being into her.

26. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are madly confusing, but somehow are drawn even more to them. (o. makabogo jugh na ang mga bae. mao na ni exist ang rainbow gender.)

Z. Girls really wish that they can understand guys more.

27. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible. (or gusto na syang ma deado dayon? ayaw pod pirmeha oiii.)

0. Girls just want to be with guys as much as possible... NO MATTER WHAT. Girls can really get impulsive and irrational.

SADLY. So there goes. The funny battle between two creatures that hates each other so much they can't exist without the other. P.S I just got this from a friend's bulletin post in Friendster. I'm pretty sure a lot of you may have already read this from forwarded emails or some other blogs. I "copy-pasted" this and gave it a little twist (my own thoughts on purple!)



-tSin
If I can't have you, I'd rather be like you...

Impasse

Tonight I can cry the saddest tears,
The kind of tears that would leave the hole in my heart emptier and wider.
The night is shattered and he is near me. And that is all.

And tonight I might have to cry the saddest tears,
For in his eyes I see, I see that love he had, or that love that he might still have.
To think that I have him, to know that I will lose him.

Tonight I can let these thoughts hover in the corners of my mind:
That tonight I love him, but he does not love me, not even for one time.

A song plays in the distance.

My soul is in anguish for he can never be mine,
My mind is spent with just the thought of fighting,
The sight of him illuminates the darkness

But then he is not mine. He won't accept me as his.
He is for another. Another's in one way or the other.

Tonight I can cry the saddest tears,
To know that I have him near me, but never with me,
To hear the coolness in his words
All loose, unfelt.

I cannot say I love him, that's certain,
But beyond words, I am wishing I could.
Love is too soon, perfection is even impossible.

What does it matter that my love cannot keep him,
He hasn't even been mine yet and I have already lost him.

Those eyes, those lips.

They can only be with me for so long.
Close enough to feel, but never to touch.
That somehow he has taken me into his arms to wonder
If it could ever be me and him.

The music trails off.

My soul is in anguish for he can never be mine
And although I have to cry the saddest tears
I cannot help but rejoice for that one moment,
For the nights, like this, that he'd kept my eyes dry.

-tSin

08 | 28 | 08

NOTE:
This was inspired by one of Pablo Neruda's Poem - Tonight I Can Write.

Words You Wish You Will NEVER Have to Say/Hear

Forget me, it's that simple.
(No I don't think that you know what you've been missing.)
-Taking Back Sunday, Your Own Disaster

a conversation...


GF: are you happy with me?
BF: uh... sure. like some 70 or 85 percent.
GF: you're not sure...?
BF: it'd be too early for that conclusion.
GF: right. so you're... sort of happy with me.
BF: yeah.
GF: am i good for you?
BF: in a way, you are.
GF: *sighs* thanks. do you wish there's something more...?
BF: hmmm... yes.
GF: oh! what is it?
BF: i wish i love you.


...in my head.


I still find it amusing how we can want someone who will never feel the same way for us and vice versa and worse, hold on to that pain. You can't pretend it's amazing... all the time. Tsk.

-tSin

The Smoke Stained Goddess

Your solar, bipolar
Panic disorder
Seems harder and harder and harder
Still you try to control it
-Blue October, X Amount of Words

I was waiting at the bus stop, standing by the shade of a worn-out building post... waiting for the God-knows-where-exactly-from-Asia-hand-me-down bus. It was a few minutes after seven in the morning and I was already almost irritated that it hasn't come yet - I was about to be late for work and I couldn't take a cab because it would cost me a day's pay to do so. So I waited. Then there came this lady, with a cup of some drink from McDonald's in her left hand, and a big brown bag clutched tightly and closely to her right. Her hair was neatly cut short, shining as the sun hit it from where she stood - which is just about a good two feet away from me . Her nails were a bright neon pink. Her back was turned on me, but I could tell she was fighting off some tension. She squinted at the sunlight, took a sip from her soda, and sniffed. I didn't want to stare at her, afraid that I might get caught while so doing, but I couldn't stop it. There was just something about her - some faint facade of mystery - the kind of mystery that my curiosity couldn't shy away from. I continued to watch her seemingly numbered activities. Every now and then she would glance at her watch, sniff, stare at the busy road (and I could tell that we were waiting for the same thing), and sip again. It could've been a ten minute ritual as though she was preparing for something, like a prayer meeting or some ancient to-be-get-readied-for event. And then she looked up the road again and at her watch, thinking that it might take longer for the bus to come she searched her gigantic bag. Her slender fingers came back out with a white stick and then she stuffed one end of the stick to her mouth and took another purple rectangle shaped box. A cigarette. A lighter. She lit it... hesitantly and not looking up even for a second. I was all the more curious and intrigued as the scent of the newly lighted cigar filled the air (and tickling my nose for a bit), and the swirling white smokes danced over her head meeting the morning sun's biting heat. She blew on it a couple of times now eyeing almost every corner of the place. I could tell she was nervous and... watchful. As though looking out for someone who'd tap her shoulder and tell her: "OOPS! CAUGHT YOU!" After a few puffs, her shoulders relaxed, and she stood straighter now than she already was.




The sidewalk at this time of the day is busy. Every now and then some student, some passerby, would pause for a while and watch her with the smoke in her hand. A mother with her daughter passed by and the mother said: "SAYANG." The lady never heard that of course, her ipod was closely stuck to her ears as though they have been there since she was born. "SAYANG." The word rang inside my ears again like somebody just hit the replay button. I stared at her. Yes. She is lovely - no, actually, she is beautiful (even from where I stood I could tell that she is) - she looked smart, her pants fit her perfectly (you can hardly see any girl now whose pants would fit perfectly!), her hair was a faded auburn almost hazel. I don't know her, but it looks like she could be the quintessence and epitome of perfection -- IF ONLY I COULD SEE HER FACE, HER EYES MOST ESPECIALLY. "SAYANG." The word rang through a third time. Why did that mother ever thought of that or even be bold enough to say that out loud? Is it because she saw the stain of cigarette in this goddess? Does that really make her less of a person? Why do we have to judge people by their habits, like this lady's puffing? What if she was only smoking to ease her
+ tension? What if she was having a bad time and only smokes whenever she does - yeah, not everyday? Humans can get really so judgemental sometimes. We let what our eyes see define who or what the person is which is undeniably wrong. But what about the things that we don't see? They can be worse. This lady might be smoking and might be drinking booze all night long on Saturdays, but then she could also be a dedicated student leader (or some leader per se), she could be a very loving daughter and sister or wife, she could be a very good friend, she could be a very providing mother. See? We don't have the right to judge people in whatever way, whatever reason there is. Whatever they do... there must be some good reason behind it and just like all of us, they don't have to explain it to everyone else.


I couldn't remember how long I've waited and stood there and stared at her like that and contemplated on that fact... It made all the waiting bearable - to have had something to think about. At some point of that time, I felt the urge to reach out to her and probably try to get her into a conversation, but I let my imagination run without trying because itwill definitely freak her out if I did. She shot me a quick glance and I felt the colors on my cheeks burn. Impossible! And then the foreign characters of the bus front appeared into view just as I thought I was about to have been asked to explain my distant and observant stare. Whew! Saved! At least. She ransacked her bag again for a perfume this time and she sprayed it on herself generously - the air suddenly smelled like green mangoes. She bowed her head down as though in a prayer, returned the bottle of perfume inside her bag, and hailed her right slender hand for the bus to stop. Her image will forever be etched in my memory.


-tSin

Twitter on Blogspot?

06.12.09
04:30:31 AM
-the birth of another spot
for my sweet write--


Hi Friends, Families, Fiends... Ok. Everybody now! :)


I am moving to a whole new space in Blogspot! And I am so sorry for my ignorance! I didn't know I could just delete a blog from an account and start all over again! Oh well! Anyhooser, I am moving most of my stuffs here and as soon as I get my internet connection back at home I'll be moving more stuffs from my rusted Drive C. The first five entries (after this) are imported (or better yet, copied and pasted) from my previous bewarethetrashcanbin.blogspot.com site.

And as for the title... don't mind that. It doesn't have anything to do with this blog actually. But yes, for crying out loud, I do already have a Twitter. Weeee! I've conquered my ignorance over the Twitter thingy - not really! Haha! I'm still sooo new with the stuff I had to sign out after I've put in my first update. Funny. But now at least you can come follow me there and I'd be more than glad to follow you, too! ü SWEET, right?

Just read through... I don't know what's gonna come up with this. Stories of people that are worth talking about? My life? Some gossip? Gossip Girl? Why not?

Visit my site any time you can! And let me know if I made you laugh, cry, upset or whatever! I'd be more than happy to interact really! Also don't forget to leave links to your blogs! I would definitely love to read them!

Thanks!

x♥x0
-tSin