His Name Was Alexander.

I'm supposed to be writing an article today about some tar sands producer in the western part of Canada or so I think, but good old migraine is getting in the way. I've already taken a reliable dose of Medicol Advance, I'm just waiting now for it to go away.

Migraine, migraine go away.
Little Tsinny wants to play write.

It didn't rhyme, but let's move on.

That was actually three days ago! Yes, I started this three days ago hoping that I could finish it by then.

Moving on, I'm all good now except that I'm feeling slightly feverish. Well, at least I'm sure I won't be going down the dirty road to sore eyes because it seems like everybody has it these days! God forbid! Aside from the threatening fever, my knees are also jittery! Because... I think I just heard an Indian chant or something from a very close (mockery intended) Indian client of ours.

Anyhoo...

*drum roll*

I'm finally done with the 3rd day letter: to the Parents :) Hoorah to me! Hoorah!

Writing this letter did make me feel very, very nostalgic even though I'm already in my twenty's and still living under the same roof with them and sometimes, sharing the same bed, too! Our family has really been through a lot of challenges and tough times as in ala MMK, but we still manage somehow to live normal lives. And though there have been numerous black holes I am proud to have come out of them alive and stronger. With all of those trials, there is one thing that I've learned and gained that no other experience could ever give me and that would be that things do happen for a reason. Such a cliche, but very, very true! Especially for me!

When our family went into the dark ages of our lifetime, I was very angry to the world. I asked God, like any other man who faces a tragedy, why it had to happen to us. We were so perfect. I had the best parents in the world although I wasn't usually close to my mother. I could get everything I wanted and needed by just merely asking and showering my father, who adores me like no other, with hugs and kisses. I was born with the world underneath my flaky feet, but I lost it all -- we lost it all -- without any glory at all. In fact, stripping us off of our dignity and making us suffer with shame for years.

But I've moved on from that. I believe that it ought to happen to change me wholly. I believe that my destiny shouldn't be affected by my parents' doings. I believe that I could change my life if I want to without putting the blame to my folks. And that it is never right to allow people to define my being through their judgment of my parents. Yes, I came from them and they gave me my life, but I am entirely different from them. I am not my parents. I am me. I have the power to build my own dreams and make my own choices.

I have forgiven them, too, especially my father. For what is moving on without forgiveness, right?

Here's my letter to my parents. Freshly scanned. You can click the photos for a bigger image and see if you can read my ugly-duckling handwriting :)





I am different names to different people,

~tSin

P.S.

Alexander? Is my prep-school crush! *blush*

Poladroidnia!

I just found a really cool software to convert ordinary photos to awemazingsome Polaroids :) I just thought I'd share the happy find with you all so we all could enjoy its beauty and convenience, of course!

Here are a few samples:

OF MYSELF.

OF THE BOYF.

making a super duper cute and funny look!

OF MY FAVE PHOTO OF US TOGETHERRRR <3

from a summer in Badian

OF MY BFF GETTING MARRIED (A sneak peek, yeah!)

download here :)

TRULY AMAZING!

Supposedly, I should be posting that letter to my parents. But I left my handy-dandy notebook in the office. And I haven't scanned it yet... So, here's something useful in exchange for the delay. I hope you have fun making those Polaroids! And oh! Yes, there is a limit to that. Just like a real Polaroid stack... You can only make up to 10 Polaroids in every session -- with every session I think that would mean every 24 hours? I'm not really sure. I have yet to check. But for now, you can definitely go ahead and download it. Experience the POLADROID magic! :)

thinking hard,

~tSin

Of Dreams and Numbers

Here's another quick post. I just got to post, otherwise I'll freeze! Hahahah! J.K! :p

Seriously though, I've had two bad dreams in a day. Well, one when I slept during the night and the other when I slept during the day. How bad is it?! Let me give you bullets on that.

• First dream. I dreamed that the love of my life no longer loves me, needs me, nor wants me. He's got nothing to do with me anymore in any way. How desperate I felt when I woke! It was more than a nightmare really.
• Second dream. If that first dream was a nightmare... I don't know how to call this second dream at all. The love of my life has a secret child. WTH?! My Boyfriend has a child!A child who is ten years old. I couldn't help crying when I woke up!I just couldn't believe even if it was a dream! But before I dreamed about that there was a different dream within my dream. Yeah, sort of like inception. Except that I was just two floors down. If you've seen the movie you'll know what I mean. So going back, the dream was sort of similar. But it was of a different guy... an ex-boyfriend. Who coincidentally just sent me an I.M now on Yahoo! Oh my! And in my dream, he's got two kids: one was 12 and the other about 3 or 5. But that doesn't bother me as much as the dream about The Love of My Life :| Whenever it's bad dreams concerning him or me or me and him altogether... I really usually have a hard time getting over them. Good thing though he was sleeping soundly beside me when I woke up! Automatic reassurance with hugs and kisses! My heart melt yet again.

I've never had dreams made up of so vivid... numbers. Yes, numbers. On my way to work, I was thinking and asking myself over and over if they could mean anything at all. And then a thought hit me. I've probably dreamed of numbers that I could use for the lottery. I really have six of them. So I asked God for a sign... surprisingly enough, all the lotto outlets along the way were closed! I don't know if that's a sign that I will have to play the lotto some other time or the numbers were meant for something else. Hmmm... I couldn't tell. Thoughts?


stand there,

~tSin

P.S.



Happy 12th birthday Google :)

An Omelet Prologue

I'm still working on my 3rd day letter for my parents. So while I'm at it, here's a sweet quick post. My Papa brought me egg omelet and corned beef for breakfast in bed at 4 o'clock in the morning today! I could cry with the sweetness! This man really does know how to melt my heart like butter! I love you Papa! Thank you so much!

Here's one basic Omelet recipe that may be really helpful for you, if you're preparing breakfast today or tomorrow or just simply feel like eating some good flavored omelet! :D

Things You'll Need:

• 2 eggs
• butter for the pan
• dash black pepper
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• 1 tbsp. water
• Groceries
• Wire whisk
• Spatula
• Mixing bowls
• Omelet pans
• Forks

Cooking Directions:

1. Combine eggs, water, salt and pepper in a medium-sized bowl. Beat with a fork until combined but not too frothy.

2. Melt a little butter (1 or 2 tsp.) over medium-high to high heat.

3. When the butter stops foaming, pour the egg mixture into the skillet, and without moving the skillet, allow the eggs to set on the bottom (this should only take a few seconds).

4. As eggs set, take a spatula and push the edges of the egg mixture in, allowing the uncooked eggs on top to flow underneath and make direct contact with the skillet. Repeat the procedure at various spots around the edge of the setting egg mixture.

5. When eggs are set but still shiny, remove the omelette from the heat. The whole process should take just 2 or 3 minutes.

6. Fold the omelet in half and slide it onto a warm plate.

*7. Serve with a warm or hot beverage like a refreshing orange juice or relaxing tea! Serve with love! It sure makes every food tastier than it should be! (My advice ♥)

I got this recipe here. Bon appetit!

la fille de père,

~tSin

P.S. I'm now back to black, gray, red, and white. I just love it this way. Thoughts? :)

Words Can Get Delayed But Not Forgotten.

ULTIMATE CRUSH!!!

It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
~Jennifer Paige, Crush

Yes, overly delayed I could be unforgiven. But hey, at least I didn't forget! And I know my dearest blog that I still owe you a lot! I've got them on top of my head all the time, believe me cuz I really do. Definitely no bluffing! Jing's wedding and the bling-blings that I've shopped for! :) Just give me a couple days more and they'll be up and running *double wink*

Moving on, here's an outdated post on the supposedly Day 2 A Letter To Your Crush. This brings me back to my Prep school days when I had this very first huge crush on a really tall lean boy from my class. I remember he'd always run from school to their house right after classes. This has been the picture of him that has been forever etched in my head. Long and lean legs and running. Curly hair flying with the wind and his determined face. Well, that was a long time ago. I don't even know where he is now and besides it wasn't love. No not at all. Damn! I was just a kid!

Anyhoo, here's my letter :)


Yes, I know my handwriting is really kindergarten-like! Please bear with me! Hahah! And who I am referring to in this letter? Ahhh... just some cute guy who passes me by every now and then. Oops. Nothing serious really.




Tomorrow,

~tSin

EDIT: I changed Penn Badgley/Dan Humphrey's pic into a more casual one. Err... I really think I've already posted the previous picture somewhere around here. Anyhoo, he's still as gorgeous in that picture!

QUICKLY!!!

I am totally excited to post my second day letter for MY CRUSH! Sure yeah, I'd be writing to some fictional man stranded in the wind but that will have to wait tomorrow. I've been really B U S Y today and I'm just having fun being B U S Y! I could write it now, but you would really see and feel the hastiness in it if I do force myself to do so right now. So I'd rather we all be patient and wait for tomorrow. PLUS, my flash drive is actually acting weird and going haywire! I couldn't see a thing that I've downloaded to it! Wth?!

Anyhoo, I have to go to shop for some cute and fancy and gorgeous trinkets! I'd paste pictures of them here, too if I have more than enough time (could there even be such a thing?!).

As for now, gush over:



OH YES! I ULTIMATELY LOVE HIM! He will always be my silver-screen love!

lest you say otherwise,

~tSin

When was the Last Time?

That you've ever gotten any snail mails or written a letter yourself?

I couldn't remember at all the last time I received any. With text messaging, e-mail, i.m's, Facebook, and Twitter who would ever think of those medium to send their love (or hate) to the world?!

Well personally, I love letters! I love writing them myself, too. I am very fond of writing letters and keeping them to myself beacause I always feel that it is enough to write what I needed to write and the recipient could go on with his/her life without even finding out that I poured my heart out through a pen on a fragrant (or not) paper.

I've had a collection of them good old stationary! And there were times back in grade school when I would exchange with some classmates who were collecting, too. But of course, the basis for the barter? The winning design and scent! Yes, girls just love anything nice, beautiful and fragrant! And yes, I am a girl indeed!

As promised from the previous blog... I don't know why I even keep on making promises in this blog site when I'm not even the kind of person who likes promises let alone make one! Gawd. Anyhoo, since I've already made it, I better keep it. Going back, I've made a promise in the previous blog to write letters! And actually, this is a day-late post, but then again a promise is a promise.

So here goes my first letter. It's for my best friend who just got married last Saturday. (I will be posting about the ceremony in a different post in a different time, too because I don't have the photos handy.)

Jingle My Best Friend Forever,

It has been a very long time since the last time that I've ever written anything to you -- I mean letters that are longer than my brief greetings of "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" or the annual holiday cards. I really miss the times when we used to exchange letters even though we're almost with each other every day. I remember how we resolve our petty fights through these letters then crying after over our silliness! And do you remember that biggest fight we've ever had (which was still actually petty for our level) before Valentine's? Well, I really thought at that time that that was already the end of our friendship. I was so scared I really had to swallow my pride just to write and apologize so I could have you back as my best friend and be silly together again!

It has been very long indeed and I love how we've kept our friendship intact throughout the years despite our differences and the friends we've met along the way, especially in college. You are truly the most wonderful person both inside and out that I've ever known. You are the greatest friend anyone could ever have and I take pride in that. And even if there were times when we barely saw and heard from each other, I knew in my heart that if we were to see each other again one day, we will still be the same people who spent lunch breaks at the chapel steps munching over Moy2x and cheap ice pop while giggling over boys and our adventures at school; the same people who have survived the difficulties of high school life together; the same people who helped each other out in putting back the pieces of our hearts that have been broken by immature love; and definitely the same people who vowed to be best friends for the rest of their days.

It has been ten long years since the very first time we ever met and I'm proud to say that our bond is certainly getting stronger with all the triumphs and hardships that we've faced -- we've been tested with time and for sure, will continuously be tested. But I am confident that we will make it like we did before. And if I can't be with you because of distance that I couldn't possibly surmount, I will not worry because I know Jing, that you are a very strong person despite the fact that you easily cry (but I think I cry easiest!) and despite the unending doubts that run inside your head every time and also my prayers will always be with you and your family. I am truly happy to have watched you bloom into a stronger and more beautiful women all set and ready to build and take care of your own family. I'm sure your family will be as proud as I am and all of our friends to have the most amazing and gorgeous woman in their midst. Stay as lovely as you are Jing and never forget to ask God's guidance to help you out in every endeavor and trial that you will be facing one day. Never give up and don't let negativity get the best of you!

I love you.

Never fade,

-tiNaj


P.S.

Pardon my scanning abilities, they are apparently O F F! :|

Love DAMAGES Your Health.

Too much love will kill you...

Is it really possible for a love so strong to break your bones?

image from loovebipolar.

to smoke or to jog,

~tSin

P.S.

This is interesting, too:

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Imma do this one day.

PMS Anyone?

Damn! I've got this head-splitting migraine! How I wish I could do this tonight:

I think I've already posted this picture somewhere here before. Or maybe somewhere else. It's some random cat photo I've stumbled upon Tumblr. I'm not really sure who owns this picture! It's long been archived in my computer. So if you own this, pm me so I can credit you! And the world can move on peacefully again *winks*

P.S.

I tried to create a WordPress blog... but my head just broke a tiny little bit more. So I stopped.


staying here for good,

~tSin

Of Scars and Battlefields.

I'll take with me every single luxury.
When I leave you can,
Count on me for that and nothing more.
~Twenty-twenty Surgery, Taking Back Sunday

I know I am not the best of my kind. I have never been perfect - not even once, seriously. I've had shitty days and shitty mood swings and had annoyed and hurt so many people in the past.

I've hurt, too.

Because of expectations that were never met. Because of promises that were always broken. Because of promises that were never ever made even when one was supposed to. Because of people being afraid of commitments. Because of rejection. Because I cared too much or cared too less - either way, people would still have the guts to call me selfish somehow.

And I hate this: Me ranting over these kinds of stuff. I already promised two blogs ago that I will never post anything sad or depressing or negative ever again! But look at me here. I am in fact bleeding and crying, literally, as I am writing here. Ok. Maybe the bleeding part was a bit over exaggerated. But my hand did bleed some hours ago because I threw a fist fight with my helpless stroller! Thus the picture:


I was soooo angry, I could've killed a baboon! Thank God the stroller was there voluntarily for my anger-displacement!

I will not get into a full detail of what really happened because it's going to be a really, really long story! Let's just say I got majorly pissed at home I'm now seriously thinking of moving out! No matter what! Damn! Pa, you always, always know how to make me stay though. If not for you I would've flown a long, long time ago - even to some place you couldn't follow!

*Sighs*

How I wish I could be a child again! When I could just cry and whine and get things my way in an instant effortlessly! It was waay easier before!

AND, how timely again! I just wrote a post for my Facebook and Multiply accounts about letting go and that sort of stuff! And... this happened! *sighs* Alright, I will breathe in deep... I will let go of this and do something to correct this. I don't want to get tangled in some sort of horrific cycle bound to be eternal in my familial destiny! Ugh!

Now, where to go? Ahh... of course. FORWARD.


Adelante,

~tSin

Happy Endings Could Mean Just Moving On.

HOW TIMELY!

September 08, 2010

1. Pisces (2/19-3/20)

   Wincing at the thought of some less-than-stellar behavior on your part and feeling, oh, just a touch defensive? Brush off criticisms -- including your own -- and focus resolutely on the present and future. Flagellating yourself will only lead to a treacherous bog of low self-esteem. Instead, take a look at what you can change for the better, resolve to correct any inappropriate behavior and apologize when necessary. Now move on.

(from my yahoo! page)

consolation,

-tSin

One A.M.

The breather
I wait for... every day.

I know I'm not supposed to write sad stuffs anymore as promised from the previous.
I won't.
I won't lie, too though that I am not feeling very happy right now.

And I don't know.
It has been two years.
And I'm not sure
If it's too soon
To be hoping for something the other is not yet ready to take in.

Maybe one day...
I will realize.
I will understand
What he really meant.


Until that day comes, I'll be drinking lukewarm water,

~tSin

Personas.

I love my new Mozilla Firefox Persona. Here:


And since I've replaced the header of my blog...

Tsadan!

I've replaced the whole theme and what not.

Not overly a major make-over, but it's waaay different from the previous bleak and black blog of mine.

I've come to the idea that if I color this in a happy hue, I will learn to start posting happier stuff, too. Well, we'll have to find out... soon!

Aaaaannnndddd *shrieks*

It's already SEPTEMBER! I really get this adrenaline sort of rush whenever this month comes into view. WHY? Because in the country where I live, it's like the official start of the Christmas Holidays -- well not that we'll be vacationing from this month on... but it just gives us more of a Christmas feeling. People start saving and shopping for presents! Mind you, we could start exchanging Christmas gifts as early as... October? Anyhow, I'm just really excited! I'm also looking forward to a lot of things.

Lastly, look what I found! A beautiful picture of my ugly flat feet and newly pedicured! :)


Gosh! I just realized, too... I miss blogging and filling you with updates dearest Blog! Since it's already September... I will try my bestest to fill you in!


kisses,

-tSin