Of Scars and Battlefields.

I'll take with me every single luxury.
When I leave you can,
Count on me for that and nothing more.
~Twenty-twenty Surgery, Taking Back Sunday

I know I am not the best of my kind. I have never been perfect - not even once, seriously. I've had shitty days and shitty mood swings and had annoyed and hurt so many people in the past.

I've hurt, too.

Because of expectations that were never met. Because of promises that were always broken. Because of promises that were never ever made even when one was supposed to. Because of people being afraid of commitments. Because of rejection. Because I cared too much or cared too less - either way, people would still have the guts to call me selfish somehow.

And I hate this: Me ranting over these kinds of stuff. I already promised two blogs ago that I will never post anything sad or depressing or negative ever again! But look at me here. I am in fact bleeding and crying, literally, as I am writing here. Ok. Maybe the bleeding part was a bit over exaggerated. But my hand did bleed some hours ago because I threw a fist fight with my helpless stroller! Thus the picture:


I was soooo angry, I could've killed a baboon! Thank God the stroller was there voluntarily for my anger-displacement!

I will not get into a full detail of what really happened because it's going to be a really, really long story! Let's just say I got majorly pissed at home I'm now seriously thinking of moving out! No matter what! Damn! Pa, you always, always know how to make me stay though. If not for you I would've flown a long, long time ago - even to some place you couldn't follow!

*Sighs*

How I wish I could be a child again! When I could just cry and whine and get things my way in an instant effortlessly! It was waay easier before!

AND, how timely again! I just wrote a post for my Facebook and Multiply accounts about letting go and that sort of stuff! And... this happened! *sighs* Alright, I will breathe in deep... I will let go of this and do something to correct this. I don't want to get tangled in some sort of horrific cycle bound to be eternal in my familial destiny! Ugh!

Now, where to go? Ahh... of course. FORWARD.


Adelante,

~tSin