Terminal and Contagious.

05:55:54 | 05.28.10 | taming

For the second time in my lifetime, I was confined yet again for an illness prolly not very serious as in life-and-death-seriousness. The doctors said it was just some silly infection that could be healed by gulping down numerous of antibiotics for a good couple of weeks and voila! That should fix everything. Well, that should've supposedly fixed everything, right?! But it didn't. And I'm not saying that I'm getting just as bad health-wise, however me being ill every now and then (and for the record, there has never been a year that I don't get sick or something) is getting into my nerves really. Why can't I be the same as the others who could live normally and healthily? Although I don't do regular exercise and skip meals occasionally, I'm pretty sure I'm not malnourished or anything like that. I also see to it that I give proper nourishment to my body because I don't want to be sick, because I don't want to make everyone get tired of me being sick. Ugh. Frustrated much is all I could say.

What's worst... A few weeks ago just when I found out that I'm all good and healed from the infection which really totally hyped me out happy my doctor said that I have just acquired (forgive me for the lack of a better word but that's all I could really think of for now!) another disease which definitely cannot be cured by antibiotics anymore. I will be suffering of this lifetime illness from here onwards. It took me some time to accept that... actually, I'm still having a hard time accepting the fact that I am forever going to be ill with this. I can't put into words this feeling of grief or whatever, probably fear. I don't know. I know a number of people who's got the same illness and they've lived pretty normally... I guess that's what I should do then huh? Anyway, it won't really show that I do have something in me unless I talk openly about it. But I'm not ready. And I don't think I will ever tell anyone about it ever.

*sighs* I wish a serving of McDonald's spaghetti can cure me. I wish.

hard luck,

-tSin