Decadence.

She keeps on asking "do you think it hurts much to die?"
Well it's hurting so much more to stay alive now
Shes gonna find out how much it hurts to die
~From Autumn to Ashes, Chloroform Perfume
10.08.09 | 04:15:55 | back breaking

For days I have been crying myself to sleep because I am badly injured - literally. My left leg hurts so much it makes me think sometimes that I won't be able to walk at all the next minute I'd stand up. I've taken all sorts of pain reliever already just so I can escape the pain for a while and have even stopped taking the meds for my other illnesses (thinking that those might have also caused my leg to hurt). Even my granny's mostly and usually helpful cute little massage wouldn't help me go to sleep at all! Ugh. I am such a sickly person! It's crazy and embarrassing that I have to be at the company clinic every week. If only I can skip that part of my sickly life... I would. But how will I get better if I don't see the doctor, right? It's just a good thing though that we have very good health benefits in the company... otherwise, my illness would just deteriorate rapidly with the prices of all the medication that the doctor would prescribe me!

I will have to rest for today or in the next few hours and then I will have to say hello to the doctor once again! I'm crossing my fingers that it's nothing very serious. Hopefully, something that can be cured with some minty vapor rub. And if you're wondering why I have photos of kittens here... in my moments of pain... they are some sort of consolation with feel-good music, too! Help me pray for my health!

i will be better,

-tSin